What Are the Odds Anyway?
by Higure-san
Summary: There are a lot of things with very slim chances of occuring, but they do happen. Take one unique 'boy', and another boy with odd psychiatric combinations, what are the chances that utter chaos will happen? None? Oh, you're wrong, so wrong! [AU, SasuNaru]
1. Intersexuality

**This chapter is especially dedicated to Kaikouken for 'poking' me to write humour and whose TNPC inspired me to do this. Since this is my first attempt to write it, please go soft on me -puppy eyes-. Also, I don't mean to offend any individual with this fic (reference to intersexual and psychiatric conditions); I just write what bit I know.**

**Please bear with me for the first two chapters as I set the background of Naruto and Sasuke. The plot will start afterwards.**

**Also, since I'm still toying with the plot, Odds will only be updated as soon as I got sparks of inspiration to write the chapters. So, if you want any scene/character (humour, mind you) to be written, just send me your ideas and I'll see if I can accommodate them. **

**Disclaimer: Naruto & co. do not belong to me; they are Masashi Kishimoto's. Unbeta-ed.**

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**Chapter 1: Intersexuality.**

While it is known widely to the general population that male has penis and female has vagina; not many people realize that a prevalence of 0.018 percent of people are of a gender called intersexual.

It is even described in the famous wikipedia that intersexuality is described as 'conditions in which chromosomal sex is inconsistent with phenotypic sex, or in which the phenotype is not classifiable as either male or female' (1). In simpler term, a person who is intersexual is not exclusively female, nor he/she (or maybe _sheman_?) is a male.

It simply means that particular individual have **both** genitalia, ovaries _and_ testis.

Now, it may be weird to many many people, but it is the truth.

And in that 0.018 percent of the prevalence, one particular young male -or female?- lives in quite a remote place at a corner of this Earth, under the protection of his (or maybe her?) guardian called Umino Iruka.

And for the sake of this story, let just called this unfortunate (or fortunate if you want to look at it that way) person a male, since he has been raised as a gentleman all his life. The said young male name is Uzumaki Naruto, because he was being left near the site of the Naruto whirlpool. And it was the said guardian who found him and thus adopted him that instance.

As we have been told earlier, Naruto lives in a remote village, far far away from the city. Ever since he was a baby, Iruka has been a bit (actually a lot) confused with the baby's true gender, but since young Iruka himself is definitely a male, he raised Naruto to be a male as well.

And truthfully? Naruto is comfortable with it. And since Iruka has been addressing him as a male and treats him as a male; Naruto grows up with a thought that _every_ male has umm… private parts like he does.

And so, during his high school, when the subject biology was being taught, he was confused. When he raised his hand to ask questions though, the teacher and students laughed at him; saying one _cannot_ have _two_ genitalia!

And whose fault was that?

Since then, Naruto never attempted to ask about it anymore. Poor poor Naruto hates to be laughed at, so he just keep it to himself, assuring himself that he is indeed special

Oh, he is right after all.

Now, you may have asked; hasn't he ever gone to see someone called _doctor?_

The answer is, of course not! Naruto is a very very special kid indeed. He has the ability to heal very very fast. In fact, he seldom got sick. And for this, Iruka is grateful, for his earning as a primary school teacher doesn't pay much.

The said young man has now grows up- becoming a full hot blooded young male of the age of 17.

A _very_ beautiful male with bronze skin (normal tan mind you) and golden sunny hair that makes girls envy at its natural shine and _softness_ (Naruto somehow has indeed a handful of fan club members who will try anything to get a piece of him. And this one time, they even dared to touch his hair- and hence they _know_ how soft it is, despite the spiky and messy appearance).

However, the most attractive feature of Uzumaki Naruto (apart from his sun-kissed skin and bright yellow blond locks and endless energy and his ability to make people smile and his aura of happiness and brightness that could make people blind- okay, you got the idea now, don't you?); anyway, the most striking feature of this heavenly creature is his eyes.

If you look up in wikipedia and type in 'list of colours', you can see exactly the description of different blues that are associated with Naruto's eyes: azure, cerulean (not exactly the best description) and dodger blue. They are the most striking blue that you can ever see; they even rivalled the sky colour on a very sunny day.

Naruto is a bit on the emotional side, and hence his eyes colour also changed accordingly. It is no wonder then why people can get so entranced with our very charming character.

Growing up in a remote country site has its very own advantage. Naruto is a very active young teenager; who has a lot of enquiry and unanswered questions in this world and who is a very very adventurous person.

Besides, he has… one of the rarest… condition (that's just wrong to put it that way). Hence, it is not shocking news if someone from the city was looking for Naruto for him… umm… condition.

Enter (Professor) Jiraiya-sensei; who is doing his n-th research on human reproductive system.

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(1) Direct word-to-word translation from Wikipedia 

**TBC  
****Next:** Enter Uchiha Sasuke, a teen with Schizoid Personality Disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder


	2. Schizoid Personality Disorder

Thanks to all Odds reviewers! And to anon reviewers please do leave your email so I could reply to you and answer your unanswered questions.

Take note that most of the terms are real psychiatric terms. Please tell me if there's still confusion; I tried to explain it and make it simpler in this chapter; but please do warn me if I'm not doing a good job. Some things might be exaggerated too. Plot will start soon, be patient XD

**Standard disclaimer applies**

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**Chapter 2: ****Schizoid Personality Disorder**

If you have been a medical student, who has done your Psychiatric rotation or clerkship; you would have known different classes of Personality Disorders. And if you would have known that, you would realize that Schizoid Personality Disorder (or Schizoid PD for short for the sake of this story) is clustered under the Cluster A personality.

And if you would like to know more, there are 3 clusters of Personality; Cluster A, B and C. Really, this is not as interesting as this chapter so we will just leave it like that. _Unless,_ if you want to know more, please 'ping' the authoress, and she will incorporate the explanation in later chapters as she introduces more characters! -beams-

Coming back to our story: That means, people with Cluster A personality are often regarded as odd and eccentric; though that is not really the case for our next character.

There are a lot of things to be said about Schizoid PD; like how to diagnose it, its epidemiology (or statistic in simpler term), how to manage or 'treat' it (treat does not seem to really fit seeing at how it's not a disease or infection that can easily be treated), etc etc etc.

Now, while others may think that the character we're about to discuss has what they called Antisocial Personality Disorder, he doesn't really fit the criteria of for it according to the DSM-IV-TR (short for Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Revision); rather he fits perfectly with Schizoid Personality Disorder. And no, Schizoid PD is nothing near Schizophrenia (like one you saw in Beautiful Mind); the reason it's called Schizoid is because it has traits of Schizophrenia, but the two are totally different.

And that is not the only little interesting problem with our dearest character too.

Nope, not this one alright; because Uchiha Sasuke is a very complex teen indeed (as complex as he could get anyway). Apart from having Schizoid PD, he also suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (a.k.a. PTSD).

On the outside, Uchiha Sasuke looks normal- as normal as a very pretty, downright to gorgeous male who has ever walked on this planet. His skin is the shade of a cross between ivory and softest cream; and indeed it is very soft and smooth. His hair and eyes are the perfect description of the blackest black. His eyes are so intense that you can literally _drown_ in the pool of nothing; as though they _suck_ your soul out. The combination of white and black on a person seems boring to other people, but when it comes to an Uchiha, they are downright breathtaking!

Having Schizoid PD means that you are more inclined to be alone… or socially withdrawn, to put it in simpler term, below are the criterions, usually one only needs four of more out of all below to be diagnosed with Schizoid PD:  
-Does not need or want close relationships, including family ties  
-Wants to be alone- almost at all time  
-Has no interest (or very little, if presents) in any type of sexual experience (yes, unfortunately- at this time),  
-Takes pleasure in nothing (yet, maybe?); and only very little if any,  
-Doesn't have close friends or doesn't depend on other people, apart from first-degree relative (in Sasuke's case, it is Hatake Kakashi rather than his older brother)  
-Appears indifferent to his surrounding, praise or criticism thrown at him  
-Doesn't show any emotion (or rather limited emotions),

**-Rewind-  
**"Wow…" Tsunade-sensei, the Head of Psychiatric Department whistled after a thorough check-up on Uchiha Sasuke as he turned 14, about 5 and a half year after he has been admitted into the hospital.

"Just wow…" she closed the patient file after Sasuke was being sent away. "I've never met someone who has _all_ 7 criterions of Schizoid Personality Disorder!"  
**-Fast forward- **

See how odd Sasuke is? Even Tsunade-sensei was amused.

Not having the ability to control such young man with **two** psychiatric conditions (at the moment, it seems), it left no choice to one guardian called Hatake Kakashi. What choice did he have except for sending the said young man to a psychiatric ward in a certain hospital?

Fortunately (or unfortunately for some people), Hatake Kakashi is indeed a certified Clinical Psychologist at the said ward (and some other wards as well). So, he literally looks after Sasuke in the said hospital. So it doesn't make much different now, would it, if Sasuke lives with Kakashi in his house?

Some people may have not realize that there are differences between Clinical Psychologist, a (just) Psychologist and a Psychiatrist but we are not talking about that right now, so we can just go straight to the point to our story- which is… what is about to be said below:

Now, having introduced an intersexual person called Naruto, who lives in a remote area somewhere; and a complex male with not one, but _two_ psychiatric conditions (as of now) called Sasuke who practically lives his whole life in one psychiatric ward of a random hospital; what are the odds that these two will meet?

None, you said?

Well, you're wrong. Dead wrong!

It seems impossible, right? But it's very probable. And although the chance is veeeerrryyyyyy slim, it's still there.

We now have seen two rare situations.

Why not make it three?

Heck, why not make it _more_ than three??!

Oh, wait! Do you hear shouts of questions? What causes Sasuke to have PTSD you asked? That made him practically lives his whole life in the Psychiatric ward, you asked? There are a lot of unexplained things, you asked? -laughing evilly-

You will find out more in later chapters; as layers of mysteries being peeled off bit by bit;

And as the chaos ensues!

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**TBC  
****Next: **Does Jiraiya succeed in taking Naruto in as part of his research? 

Review? -puppy eyes- No flames please. Constructive criticism appreciated.


	3. Are We There Yet?

And the plot starts… (at times I feel like banging my head against the wall- humor is not **easy** to write. Bah! What was I _thinking_?!)  
**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto & co- they belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Unbeta-ed. **

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**Chapter 3: Are we there yet?**

"What do you mean you want to take Naruto to the city?! Across at the other side of the country at that?! I won't let you!!" Iruka barks at the noted professor. He doesn't care what the established, well-known professor wants with his son; Iruka is not giving Naruto to him!

Especially not if Naruto is going to be an experiment! Hell no! What does he think Naruto is? An alien?!

"Ma… maa… Calm down, Iruka-sensei… I haven't finished with my offer yet-"

"What offer?! You called taking _my_ son away to be some sort of experiment play thing is for a good cause?! Where the hell did you get Naruto's name anyway?!" Iruka's face is red with anger.

For a elementary school teacher, Iruka sure uses foul language. Fortunately Naruto is not at home or he will have a heart attack seeing this side of Iruka. Oh, no, don't take it wrongly; Naruto has seen Iruka's angry and mad side; he just has not seen Iruka on the over-protective-mother-hen mode.

Even Jiraiya cowers in fear.

"Iruka-sensei…" Jiraiya tries again. "Please, I plead you to calm down. If you would just let me explain everything, I'm sure you will understand…"

Iruka narrows his brown eyes, looking at Jiraiya with much suspicion. "Give me 10 minutes!" he snaps before turning into the kitchen. Jiraiya sighs; a relief breathe. Then he hears some noises coming from the kitchen but he thinks better of it; it is better to leave it rather than take the bite of curiosity- Iruka is a force to be reckoned with!

True to his words, 10 minutes later, Iruka comes back, looking a lot more calmer and his face looks in a normal healthy brown skin (despite the tell-tale of flushes from the previous outburst).

"Okay, explain it, Jiraiya-sensei."

Jiraiya takes in a deep breath. "I'm currently doing a research on intersexuality; people who are not exclusively male or female. These… people actually deserve to have a gender of their own as they have both male and female reproductive system."

"Okay…"

"And Naruto happens to be one of them."

Iruka's eyes widen at this. He sputters and blushes before trying to compose himself and get a hold of himself and looking back in composure. "You are saying that… Naruto is _intersexual_?"

Jiraiya nods. "It was a pain getting ethics approval and such but I managed to collect data from birth registry to find these unique individuals. Naruto had 'undetermined gender' in his certificate and I assumed he, I mean she…" Jiraiya shook his head. Man, this is confusing!

"He," Iruka supplies.

"Right, he. Yeah, he had 'undetermined' written so I assumed he is one because I have some cases similar to Naruto's."

"And you travelled all over the country to look for these people?"

"Yeah… kind of. They are all back in the city where I could conduct my research easily."

"And what if we refuse to go?"

Jiraiya sighs. He knows it is hard to convince people like Iruka because it is a big decision to make. Most of the people he found are adults and have no problems moving, despite how reluctant they were initially. But then they fit in quite well because they meet with people who went through similar experience as themselves.

Naruto is the youngest so far.

"There are still a lot of things unknown with intersexual people. And thus, they do not get the help and support that they should have. Often, they are shunned by the society because they are considered freaks or mutants; but I can assure you that is definitely not the case. It is very rare, but it's apparently quite common, not just here in this country, but all over the world. The sooner we get information, the more we can help and support them."

Iruka has a distress look on his face. He has been living on the remote side of the country for a long time and relocating to the city means a lot of hassle, job problems and adapting to new surrounding.

Besides, Naruto is happy here; he doesn't want to take it away from the sunny teen.

"You are worried about Naruto, I presumed?"

"Yes… and other things too."

"Well, I can assure you that you will have no problems fitting in the city and I will talk to Naruto about this if you let me."

It takes Iruka a long time to decide, but he finally agrees to it, saying if and only if Naruto agrees, then they will take Jiraiya's offers and take part in his research.

**000**

"Hentai!!" Naruto shrieks and runs out of the room with an amazing speed. "Iruuuuukaaaaa!!!" he spots Iruka in the kitchen and hides behind the tall man.

"What-?"

"Wait, Naruto-kun! You misunderstood me completely!" now Jiraiya is seen running after the blond. He stops in front of Iruka, panting from running. _'I'm not that young anymore to run like that, you brat!' _

"Don't be all polite on me, you grandpa! Just Naruto to you, you pervert! Iruka… We have a mad man, a _paedophile_ in our house! Get the broom! Get the broom!" Naruto shrieks frantically, eyes in panic.

"What is going on?" Iruka is confused.

"This… this perverted old man!! He demanded I took of my pants!! Hentai!" Jiraiya's vein ticked at this, but Naruto is oblivious as he continues, "Pervert! Ero! _Miang!_"

Both Iruka and Jiraiya are stunned. "W-What?!"

"Err…" Naruto scratches the back of his head. He then huffs, "I don't know! I heard it in Worlds Apart the other day; it's of the same category as the rest!" His arms flail around in defence.

"Er… right…" Iruka starts, trying to get Naruto to stop hiding behind his back. He then looks at Jiraiya. "What the hell did you say to him?!"

Jiraiya sighs. Really, in all the years he did his researches, nothing comes close as difficult as this one! He starts to question Naruto's mental stability; Jiraiya rubs the bridge of his nose. "Alright, I maybe started off with the wrong foot there. Let's take this from the beginning again. Uzumaki Naruto-kun, my name is Jiraiya-sensei, a professor who's currently doing a research on 'intersexuality'. From my source of information, you are one, so I'm just making sure. What else can I make sure apart from doing a clinical examination on you? And for that I need you to take off your pants. This is strictly professional!"

Naruto's narrowed eyes look at Jiraiya in doubt. _'Does he think I'm dumb?!'_ He then looks at Iruka, asking silently for his opinion. Iruka sighs; Jiraiya really has no communication skills against young adults.

"It's okay, Naruto. He's telling you the truth."

Naruto's eyes widen in fear. "What has this old pervert has done to my dad!!" he whispers in a scared voice. Naruto quickly cowers backward. "Y-You are a paedophile too!! Where's my _real _dad?!!"

"God, Naruto! I _am_ the real Iruka!" Iruka said exasperatedly. "What I mean is, this-" he pointed to Jiraiya, "old man is _really_ a professor who's doing a research like he said!" There's a twitch on Jiraiya's forehead at this.

"But I don't want to take my pants off!" Naruto whines, not like a 17-year-old, rather like a 5-year-old. Both adults look at each other.

"Okay, okay! I got the message already!" again, Jiraiya rubs the bridge of his nose. _'Troublesome kid!' _"Alright, let's try this," the old man rummages his bag and took out a couple of cards.

"Let's have a seat and calm down first, okay?" they walk towards the dining table and sit so that Jiraiya is opposite Naruto. Jiraiya lays one card; instantly red colours Naruto's face. "P-Pervert!" Naruto accuses again.

"Dammit, Naruto! You refused me checking on you and now you still call me a pervert! Do you know what this is?!" his patience is running low.

"O-Of course!" Naruto looks offended, despite the dark red colour that's still on his face. Iruka has pink hues on his cheeks too.

"Do you have it, Naruto?!" Jiraiya leans forward, looking sceptical.

"W-What?! Of course I do! Are you trying to insult me, you old pervert?!" the red gets darker.

Jiraiya suddenly smiles. "Good! I was hoping you would say that!"

"What do you mean?!"

Jiraiya ignores Naruto's outburst and lays another card. This time, not only Naruto's eyes are wide, but Iruka's as well; the pink hues turn to red. Actually, if you look carefully, you can see steams coming out from their ears. Oh? Is that blood on Iruka's nose?

"Do you know what _this_ is, Naruto?" Jiraiya points to the picture, leaning forward again.

"O-Of course!" Naruto stutters. "It's _v-jayjay,_"(1) he whispers, as though afraid to say the word.

For a moment, both adults are stunned. "_V-jayjay?!"_ Jiraiya snorts and laughs loudly.

"That's what I heard some girls called it!" Naruto replies, offended. "It's not polite to say it out loud, you know!"

Jiraiya grins widely, trying to hide his laughter. "Alright, alright, I got the gist of it. Sheesh, and you said you've learned Biology. Now, do you _have_ this too, Naruto?"

Naruto looks down; the red comes back up again. This is so embarrassing! No one has ever questioned him this kind of question again since… _that_ incident in Biology class.

"Naruto?" Iruka asks after a while, worry etched in his voice.

"D-Doesn't everyone has that too?" Naruto looks away, asking in a small voice.

Jiraiya leans back, amused. "No. Under normal circumstances, male has this," he points to the former picture. "And female has this," he points to the latter.

Naruto is silence, lips suddenly trembles. "Does that mean I'm not normal then?"

"No, you are normal. There is small percentage, very small percentage of people in the world who have both; like you Naruto. So, just confirm this with me, you have this… _v-jayjay_ too I take it?"

Naruto nods slowly, somehow feeling embarrassed.

The grin is gone from Jiraiya. Instead, a serious look is on. "Good, that's all I need to confirm. Now, Naruto, you are not abnormal or anything like that; you are _unique._ Very unique indeed. But as you can see, there are people like you, and a lot more I guess out there who we haven't been able to locate yet. With your help by participating in my research, we can provide more support and educate the public about this. Will you agree to come to the city with me?"

Naruto ponders. He likes to help people; and he completely understands the feelings people like him have. Sometimes, it feels like they are freaks and unwanted- why should they be different? Why can they be 'normal'?

But moving to the city with Jiraiya means leaving Iruka behind; and even though Naruto is all for adventures and excitement, there is still fear in him to be there alone; no friends, no relatives, and no nothing.

"What about Iruka?" he asks at last.

"Iruka? Well, he will come with us, of course! He'll transfer to teach there so that he can still watch over you." That seems to relieve Naruto.

"And… what about when the research is over?"

"Hmmm… you can come back here if you want. Or you can just stay in the city if it suits you. Everything will be paid for- house, allowance, education, since this is under the state's fund. Our research sample is not that big so I guess we can afford it."

"Can I think about this first?" Naruto finally says.

"By all means."

**000**

So, in the end, our main character chose to participate in the professor's research. They are now on the way across to the other side of the country, where the labs and facilities are located.

"Everything will be paid for my ass!" Naruto mutters darkly in the back seat.

"Naruto!" Iruka gives a warning tone at his son's chosen language.

Jiraiya chuckles. "I'm sorry we can't ride on a plane, Naruto- that will be out of our budget. Driving is fun too- just look at the sceneries!"

Naruto pouts. It is all the same anyway, what's the point of getting excited. He was excited in the first few hours but as it is, it is getting more and more boring each passing seconds. And our bundle of energy character just cannot sit still.

Suddenly there's a mischievous sparks in the azure blue. He saw this in Shrek 2, maybe it's time to irritate Jiraiya?

"Are we there yet?" Naruto asks.

"No. It's a long journey, Naruto. Take a nap or something."

And so, every 10 minutes, there's a whine of "Are we there yet?" and irritated answer of "No!" from Jiraiya, who is getting more irritated and annoyed at the 'ungrateful brat' as he dubbed Naruto.

"Are we there yet?"

"Naruto!" Iruka barks at last, his head buzzes with irritating 'Are we there yet?' and it was making him nauseous. "If you ask Jiraiya that one more time, NO more ramen for you- EVER!"

Naruto instantly shut his mouth. When Iruka makes threat, it is for real! So, Naruto sulks and pouts for the rest of the journey. Iruka's headache ceases and Jiraiya? Jiraiya innerly giggles gleefully for he now knows Naruto's weakness!

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(1) Don't laugh! I actually got it from watching The Oprah Show **:p**

**TBC...**


	4. A Suite in the Hospital?

I've re-read and re-write this chapter a few times and I'm still not happy with it –frustrated growls- This might seem like another filler to make everything clear and set up for the next chapter. Hope you don't mind :)

Disclaimer: Naruto & co do belong to Masashi Kishimoto

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**Chapter 4: A suite in the hospital?**

Having to live half of your life in the hospital has its own perks. For instance, Uchiha Sasuke is the only patient who has his own private room- with his own plasma t.v completes with an XBOX set and his own toilet and bathroom.

Oh, is it mentioned that the Uchihas were generous people especially when contributing back to the society, like to this particular hospital? Yeah, that's another reason why he has the privilege.

Okay, let's take this from the top again; the hospital has a large Psychiatric Ward at the end of the building; and it is a bit hidden too. The reason? Because two of the three main wards are the locked wards; which means they have double locked doors with special electronic passes only before hospital staff can get in and out; and there are a lot of security measures and guards around. These are usually the people who are harmful, dangerous and need constant watch.

Sasuke however is located in the normal ward- that means he's no danger to anyone or himself. And since Sasuke is the least danger of patient around, he is given the room nearest to the entrance door, where the reception-slash-nursing station doesn't have to keep an eye on him 24/7.

After all, the young adult spends almost all his time in his room, avoiding contact with anyone else as much as possible. That is another reason (apart from his beautiful genetic) why his skin is so beautifully pale, creamy colour and his hair is so shiny and silky (no ultraviolet rays to damage it).

Sasuke has just finished his breakfast when Hatake Kakashi steps in.

"What do you want, Kakashi?" Sasuke asks in an irritated tone.

"Tsk tsk tsk… Is that a way to greet your guardian, Sasuke-kun?" Kakashi's mismatched eyes crinkle in glee. "I'm here to see how my charge is doing!" he adds chirpily.

"Che!"

Kakashi sighs. "I thought Tsunade-sensei said there are some improvements with you over the years, but from what I can see, you're still the same."

"Think whatever you want, Hatake. You're not normal yourself."

"Oh? And that being…?"

Sasuke snorts. "What sort of clinical psychologists wear mask to cover his nose and mouth?" he rolls his eyes.

"Eh?! What sort of ungrateful charge talks rudely to his guardian?"

"I treat everyone the same, Hatake; so that you all can leave me alone."

"What is needed between a psychologist and a patient is trust, Sasuke-_kun_," Kakashi purposely adds much to the raven-haired annoyance. "They don't need to see my face; my eyes are enough. Like they said, eyes are the window of the soul!"

"Hn! How can a patient trust his psychologist when the said psychologist doesn't trust his patient enough to see his face?" Sasuke sneers.

Kakashi taps his chin. "Mmm…. In a way, you _are_ right!" he says in a mock chirpiness and Sasuke can clearly see this. Being an Uchiha has another perk- they are naturally geniuses, no matter what mental illnesses they have and for this, Kakashi is always at a disadvantage.

"But I prefer it to be this way," Kakashi says finally. "Well, I guess I better make a move; I'm already late for my appointment!"

Sasuke snickers. That is actually their daily routine ever since Sasuke was admitted. Kakashi would waltz in and annoy Sasuke till he's late for his session. At first, the young child didn't pay him any attention, just sitting there emotionlessly and motionlessly until Kakashi gave up. It took him a couple of years before Sasuke actually muttered "Go away!" rudely and Kakashi gave him a few days rest before coming in and irritating the child again.

It took Sasuke another couple of years to start opening up and started talking to Kakashi; and even then, if it wasn't for the help from psychotherapy that Tsunade suggested in managing Sasuke, Sasuke would still be the stoic, antisocial boy who doesn't give a damn about his surrounding.

Now, at the age of 17, Sasuke is still categorized under Schizoid PD but he has lost some criterions; which made all the doctors breathe in relief.

They are honestly tired having Sasuke around (in a way). That young adult needs to go out, widen his horizon and lead his own life; after all he has the ability to live independently and seriously, the young Uchiha has the brain to become someone successful.

Hell, he doesn't even need to work for the rest of his life due to the inheritance his late parents left!

But there is a little, tiny teeny weeny problem… Even though it has been almost 10 years, Sasuke is still in trauma and hence that is the reason why he is still in the hospital. And yes, although Sasuke seems friendly with Kakashi, he's only like that with the man whom he considers as a family member. With anyone else? He's still the same stoic, emotionless patient with Schizoid Personality Disorder.

Only, Sasuke can now tolerate some more people apart from Kakashi; Tsunade-sensei as his psychiatry, Shizune-san the Head Nurse of Psychiatric Ward and some very few individuals.

Shizune comes in then with a small cup of pills. She smiles at him, which he nods back in reply; hands him the cup and waits till Sasuke finished them all and then walks out.

That's basically how he tolerates the other people whom he doesn't consider as annoying. They are under his list of 'tolerate-able individuals'; even with Tsunade-sensei, his choice of words are monosyllable and somewhat limited. Always, he seems eager for the interview to end quickly.

Sasuke picks the book at the side table and starts reading. Sure he has mental disorders; sure he doesn't go to school; but he doesn't want to be a dumb idiot in the hospital with no knowledge, dammit!

And for that, Sasuke is known in the ward as walking encyclopaedia who is obsessed in reading and nothing else. Yes, Uchiha Sasuke takes pleasure in reading.

Oh, that's about to change now!

**000**

Enter a lost young blond who is ordered to find one Hatake Kakashi the Clinical Psychologist, by none other than our perverted old m- let's just rewind that back.  
Enter a lost young blond who is ordered to find one Hatake Kakashi the Clinical Psychologist, by none other than the brilliant professor, Jiraiya-sensei who is concerned about Naruto's psychological state due to the stress of the research.

But instead now the said young blond is wondering around, rather then going straight to the Psychiatric Ward; fascinated at the inner décor of the hospital;

And got side-tracked obviously.

This hospital called Konoha Hospital used to be a private hospital which housed first class service to patients who can afford their private medical insurance. But due to certain circumstances, it has been handed over to the government. Therefore now it is a public hospital which has a close liaison, collaboration and attachment with the nearest university due to its excellent facilities and equipments.

And plus, more demands for doctors means more demands for medical students means more demands for hospital placement-

Hold on, there! The university? Liaising with _this_ hospital? Backtrack please! –Chapter 1, last sentence: _Enter (Professor) Jiraiya-sensei; who is doing his n-th research on human reproductive system._

Since Jiraiya works with the university (he's a medical doctor no longer but he's an asset to the hospital in many other ways) and this particular university is attached with Konoha Hospital, Naruto is indirectly attached to this hospital too.

Back to the clueless lost blond, who is still admiring the paintings on the colourful walls now that it makes him forgets his appointment. Apart from the mentioned reason above, the hospital still maintains its beautiful décor -which frighteningly looks more like a 5-star hotel rather than a hospital- because patients like it that way rather than a dull looking hospital. Not only the patients love it, the staff and students also love it; so you can't really blame this particular blond to get so engrossed with the décor now, can you?

Back to the main plot and also back to the original title 'What are the odds anyway?'; indeed, what are the odds anyway that one Uchiha Sasuke and one Uzumaki Naruto meeting now?

Oh yes, very high indeed, isn't it?

* * *

**TBC…  
****Next: **When Naruto meets Sasuke (ok, maybe not quite there yet, but really close to it XD) 

Just a curious question... would you like to see Sakura as a medical student doing her clerkship in the Psychiatric Ward or as a patient with another personality disorder (there's a particular one I want to write called Borderline PD)?? ;-)


	5. When Naruto Meets Sasuke

**A/N:** I felt compelled to say this: Chapter 4 is meant to make it clear that even though Sasuke is still categorized under Schizoid PD, he doesn't have all 7 criteria anymore. You only need at least 4 to be diagnosed with it. And usually people with PD can live in the society with not much of a problem; what makes them being sent into the hospital is when they have the potential to harm themselves or other people; otherwise, they can live like other people- studying, have jobs, family etc.  
Apart from that, with right management and therapy, PD patients can outgrow their PD; though they could still have some traits of their former PD. It can last a very long time but not necessarily lifelong.

Hope that clears everything out; back to Odds, I may exaggerate some stuff and some things might not seem possible. But that's the point of this story anyway: What are the odds of these things happening?

This chapter is beta-ed by Kaikouken (for a whole different reason from the normal one XD)  
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto & co- they are Masashi Kishimoto's.

* * *

**Ch****apter 5: When Naruto meets Sasuke**

Naruto scratches his head in frustration. Okay, this is getting ridiculous! How can he get lost in a _hospital_?! And why the hell does this hospital has _street_ names on every corridor?!! Shit, he's in big trouble!

Okay, so maybe it's his fault for getting too engrossed in the paintings and colourful walls, but they are pretty dammit! And he's an art lover, Naruto loves art, so it's not really his fault, isn't it?

Naruto sighs. One-sided conversation with his mind is not going to solve anything. Puffing and huffing up his chest and cheeks, Naruto's azure eyes sparkles- time to ask the nice pretty nurses!

"Ano… excuse me…?" he looks at one girl in baby blue uniform.

"I'm sorry, boy. I've to rush, the other will help you!" she quickly walks away, seemingly hurries off to somewhere. Naruto wants to be angry at the pretty nurse but maybe she is telling him the truth?

What if someone's dying and Naruto demands that she helps him and that someone died?! Oh, the horror! His eyes widen and his body shudders; 'I'm not that selfish! 'Sides, I'll find ways to get out of this trouble!' His blue eyes are filled with determination.

Only that… he's already two hours late for his appointment with the psychologist.

But he's a psychologist, right? He can surely understand why Naruto is lost right? It's not really Naruto's fault for coming from a remote area and gets all excited with the beautiful hospital décor, much unlike the public hospital he used to visit back home…

Right?

Let's just take a peak at how one Hatake Kakashi is spending his 'free' time seeing at how Naruto didn't show up, shall we?

Kakashi's mismatched eyes curve in glee as he giggles like a school girl in love. Perched on his desk are his legs as he leans backward on the swivel chair, hands holding an orange book.

I.c.h.a I.c.h.a P.a.r.a.d.a.i.s.u ???

Right, whatever that book is, it sure floats Kakashi's boat, right? Does it matter to us? Pfft, probably not.

But one thing for sure; Kakashi doesn't give a damn if his patients come to see him or not…  
…..  
…..

What kind of psychologist is _that_?!!

Coming back to Naruto; oh! It looks like there's one polite nurse giving him direction! Let's see… wait… that's a _male_ nurse with light-haired ponytail at the back.

The said nurse pushes back his round glasses perched atop his nose.

"Thank you, dattebayo!" Naruto says loudly, attracting some attention from the passer by. The nurse smiles politely albeit a bit uncomfortably towards the people who are looking at them. This kid sure is loud, unlike his ethereal angel-like beauty appearance…

Naruto waves to the nurse one last time and walks towards the direction he is pointed to. And then, he suddenly turns before hollering, "Oi, what's your name, kind male nurse?!"

The nurse almost chokes at that. Can't this kid just come up to him to ask instead of yelling like there's no tomorrow from 10 feet away?!!

He clears his throat, pushing down the heat away from his face before answering, "Yakushi Kabuto," and gives a small nod.

"Yosh! Arigato, Yakushi-san!" Naruto yells again, showing the nurse his perfect set of pearly white teeth. Then, he turns and resumes his walking.

The nurse called Kabuto literally sweat-drops at this, but slowly… very slowly his lips form a smile… Now, there's something interesting he can present to the professor he's so much wants to impress!! Yosh!

Naruto reaches the end of the building, looking at the one corridor to his destination. He smiles; finally! In front of him, the corridor seems to glow, bright yellow and sunny; like a heavenly pathway towards the heaven itself! Oh, what a joy! His hard work has finally paid off! He's reached his destination and now he can go in and see this Clinical Psychologist Jiraiya-sensei wants him to meet so desperately!

Though, Naruto isn't quite sure why he needs to see this psychologist, but what the heck all his ramen is being paid for and that's all that matters, right?!

Back to this corridor, Naruto carefully takes the first step into it and breathes in excitement. So bright! So heavenly! So sunny!

So amazingly done! He looks up the transparent glass roofs and walls at the side of the corridor. There's a garden on both sides of the corridor and the sun shines brightly, sending the warmth and its natural light into the corridor. It's amazing; to have gardens in the hospital!

The patients must be really happy that they will not only just see endless walls and corridors and people with white coats and baby blue uniformed nurses! They can take a walk in the gardens like these, under the cloudless sunny sky!

Wow… Just wow!

When the blond reaches the other side, he's in another building- maybe a waiting area? There's a door and he pushes it open.

"Hello?" Naruto calls; oddly the place looks deserted. Where are the people? Where are the nurses and doctors and patients?

At one end, one Uchiha Sasuke puts down the book he has just finished reading on the reception desk. Shizune-san will come and pick it up later and will bring him another book- no words needed, no communication needed; everything is automatically understood- just the way Sasuke prefers it.

He's about to walk back into his room, which if needs to be reminded again, is located very near to the entrance. In fact, one will usually pass by Sasuke's room before reaches the reception.

And that's when he saw _him_. Usually, Sasuke will just shrug it off and head to his room silently. He doesn't like meeting with other people; part of the reason, it's too troublesome. But somehow, this boy with sunny hair, who has his back turned on him, intrigues him.

Not just the sunny, soft-looking beautiful messy looking hair intrigues him; but who in their right minds wear something akin to the colour of _this_ hospital's _wall_??!!

Sasuke walks silently towards this sunny-haired boy, drowns in his own curiosity towards the newcomer. Is he a patient? Is he a visitor? Is he the hospital staff member?

Does it matter?! Of course not!

He taps the broad shoulder; and when the boy turns, Sasuke almost gasps. Well, the keyword here is 'almost'. No Uchiha in their right mind would easily let emotions out like that. _Duh!_

Standing in front of him is the most beautiful creature he's ever seen. Not even the things he read or the things he saw in television come close to the description of this heavenly being! Is he an angel?! Sasuke is drowned in the ethereal beauty in front of him. Even with only those blue eyes, he can get lost and never reaches the surface again!

It isn't any better with Naruto. As soon as he turns and his gaze fixed on the boy in front of him, Naruto sucks in a big surprise breath. What is this creature?! How can anyone be so pretty, so beautiful and so entrancing like _this_ creature?! Is he really in heaven? Was that corridor really a pathway to heaven?! Naruto's blue eyes greedily take in the sight in front of him; the sight that suddenly makes his pulse race, his heart beats wildly and his lungs suddenly _burn_. Heat creeps up his neck and his face, making the tan colour a shade darker. This boy, who looks a lot like a beautiful _vampire_ with those onyx eyes and thick dark lashes and blackest hair and creamiest skin, suddenly makes Naruto excited; much to his horror and confusion.

Sasuke's full pink lips suddenly tug at the sides as his obsidian orbs hungrily eying the heavenly creature in front of him. Books are no longer his obsession; he has just found another better one… much _much_ better than books! His breathing becomes shallower, feeling his heart beating wildly against his ribs. His hands itch to touch that smooth-looking healthy skin and suddenly he has the urge to run his fingers into that sun-kissed lock!

It is lust… Even just by looking it you know it is lust in Sasuke's eyes. Sasuke notices this of course, having read many many books and he recognizes the subtle and not so subtle changes in his body.

The urges and the needs become stronger each passing second and Sasuke cannot bear it any longer, or he'll burst!

Quickly and almost roughly, he takes Naruto's hand and pulls the blond into his room. Naruto, who's still in shock at the beautiful sight, just follows this mysterious boy's lead, not minding it even a bit when he's pushed to the wall as the other locks the door.

The next thing Naruto knows, something wet, something soft, something _delicious_ moves against his lips and he's pressed onto the wall. Unconsciously, he presses back with equal force.

'I'm being _kissed_!' It took Naruto a full 10 minutes before he realizes what has happened.

But just as soon as that thought comes, it goes into mush when his lips are pried opened and a slick, wet, _seductive_ tongue slips in and warmth instantly fills him. Naruto unconsciously closes his eyes, all thoughts are thrown away carelessly and he moans.

That delicious sound alone sends shivers in Sasuke's spine and he boldly licks every corner, bumps and surface of Naruto's hot cavern. Unconsciously he presses himself harder and his knees part Naruto's legs, settling himself in between those long legs.

Now all logic has gone out of the window as Sasuke gives himself fully into his desires, needs and lusts.

The sound in the room is not heard outside as Sasuke's room is sound-proof; a request he had years ago in order not to let people outside his room disturb his peace. Nurses' gossip travel quite easily into his room and he appreciates his privacy more.

Looks like now it serves to a more pleasurable way; much more than a convenience and practicality!

* * *

**TBC**…  
**Next: **Naruto and Sasuke bask in the meaning of new pleasure XD 


	6. New Pleasure

**Warnings: **My first full-blown lemon, please be gentle on me -.-;;; If you have problem with lemon, please skip this chapter; just read the next one, I think it won't change the plot anyway.

This particular chapter is beta-ed by Kaikouken (again, for a different reason than the normal one)  
**Disclaimer:** Naruto & co belong to Masashi Kishimoto

* * *

**Chapter 6: New Pleasure.**

Their clothes are carelessly scattered everywhere. Despite the air-conditioned room, the temperature escalates faster and faster. On the bed, no matter if it's single bed, a bit too small for two people; one boy straddles another; both are unclothed, except for their boxers.

Naruto opens his eyes; the blue darkens as pleasure runs through his every vein. The pleasure… Oh, God! That magical mouth on his nipples clamps hard, tongue licking and sucking and teeth grazing the nub slowly, erotically till it turns pink and hard… His eyes automatically shuts and he lets out pleasurable moans.

Sasuke loves the sound the boy beneath him is making. It's driving him more and more insane and desperate to touch, kiss and taste every inch on this hot creature! He concentrates on the other nipple while one thumb nurses the other one tenderly. Sasuke smiles when he feels the body beneath him arch in beautiful tight bow as his pleasure nerves are being stimulated over and over again.

More… I want to hear it more!

The trail of saliva from the kisses and licks cools Naruto's body as the air touches it. It's like a cooling balm and Naruto's head begins to clear a bit; he starts to become aware of his surrounding. But as soon as that pliant tongue dips into his navel and that hands slip behind his back and into his boxers, lifting and expertly squeezing his ass, he's once again drowns in the sea of endless pleasure.

The raven-haired pulls off the last article of clothes that separates him from this beautiful angel. His gaze fixes on the hard, erected shaft below him; slowly and steadily pre-cum oozing out from the slit. He wets his lips, suddenly has the urge to taste it.

Trailing his eyes on the boy's shut eyes, he leans down. The boy beneath him pants and breathes erratically, trying to get air into his burning lungs. He opens his eyes as he feels the magical mouth is no longer on him.

Then the blue clashes with the black. Everything else dissolves around them and both eyes taking the others with equal lust and passion.

Naruto gasps as Sasuke's lips touches the wet slit. Seeing the beautiful, exotic expression on the boy's face, it encourages Sasuke to take the whole penis in his mouth and the sound that Naruto omits only excites him more, making himself harder in the process.

"P-Please..! Nnngghh! Ahhh!" Naruto's moans suddenly turns into incoherent pleas. He himself doesn't really know what he wants but he needs it fast and he needs it now! Warm liquid coils from the pit of his stomach as he tries once again to buck and thrust himself more into that hot, magical mouth but the boy's hands pin him down.

"M-More please!" The heat is unbearable that sweats break on his forehead, neck and body. Naruto bucks himself more as his ears buzzes with the rush of blood and that mouth… oh God! That mouth is sending him higher and higher till he lets out a loud scream as something burst within him and Naruto sees white.

Everything was white and _good_!

Sasuke licks his lips, catching the white liquid at the corner of his mouth with satisfied smirk. _Delicious!_ His eyes turn predatory looking at the sated blond beneath him. He wants more from this angelic blond.

And what Sasuke wants, he gets!

Crawling forward so that he's face to face with the boy, Sasuke leans more till their noses touch. The eyes open to reveal azure blue, still daze and cloud with passion. Sasuke wets his lips and the blue orbs trail the pink tip, unconsciously wetting his own.

This beautiful vampire, who gives him a new meaning of pleasure, sucks him with only his eyes. Once again Naruto finds himself sinking into that obsidian pools, the warm, soft hands glide against his side and body seductively, awakening something again in Naruto's stomach. He gulps as he feels something starts to throb in between his legs once again and his eyes darken with need, lust and want.

Sasuke catches those soft, swollen lips; moving, seducing and begging them open to push his own tongue inside. They entwine and play with their tongues; the cool is gone and now is replaced with scalding hot. Their hands roaming freely, touching and leaving burning trail wherever they touch.

The raven-haired grunts in annoyance as his own boxer start to constraint him. He breaks the kiss to get rid of the constricting garment. His member pulses painfully. He needs this boy now!

So Sasuke spread the boy's legs to reveal everything before his eyes. His eyes widen. Not only has he had one entrance to shove his dick in, but _two_! One puckered hole is really inviting but there's another above it that attracts more of his attention. It's surrounded by two swollen, wet petals and a nub glistens seductively, calling him to enter this… _boy _beneath him.

All thoughts and logic are gone as he places himself in between those long tanned legs. Naruto is still trapped in unbearable pleasure to take note of what's happening. Sasuke supports himself and looks at the face that entrances him, pushing in slowly.

At this, Naruto's eyes snaps open. It's a new sensation and it shocks him as much as it pleasures him. Above him, he sees the pretty vampire's face contorts in control and pleasure.

But suddenly Sasuke is met with resistance and he hears a hiss of pain. He tries pushing in again but the resistance pushes him back with equal force.

"Stop, please!" tears unknowingly spring out of the blue orbs at the pain that overrides the pleasure. "I-It hurts…!" Sasuke looks down and somehow, something breaks his heart at the pain expression this blond is giving him.

He wants to stop to ease the blond from the pain but he can't really stop now! Not when his throbbing member already had the taste of indescribable pleasure that even the books couldn't describe to him.

"Shhh… its okay… It's going to get better soon, I promise," he leans forward and licks the trail of tears. His hand roams around below, trying to find something to distract the blond.

Now, Sasuke is no idiot. He reads a lot of books and ever though he doesn't go to school and learns human biology, he knows well about the different private parts of male and female anatomy. Even if it doesn't make sense to him (yet, as his mind is clouded with lust), he knows there's a nub that will bring pleasure to this beautiful blond and he has seen it just now.

The moment his thumb touches it and hears a moan, he knows he has found it. Circling it slowly at first and faster after the moans become louder and the trembling from the boy ceases, Sasuke knows he can push in once again. He trails his lips in butterfly kisses across the tanned face and settles with taking in the soft earlobes, somehow making the boy beneath him shivers and writhes in pleasure

He then slowly pulls back, leaving the tip of his member connected to the swollen lips, with one swift stroke; Sasuke pushes in, breaking the barrier that resists him just now.

Naruto gasps in shock and pain at this. Tears leaking out again as his hands claw the vampire's back; his body trembles in sobs again. Naruto hates pain and this pain in between his legs is the worst yet so far!

Sasuke stilled. He doesn't really dare to move although he wants to really badly. Does he hurt the blond again? Sasuke's confused of his own emotion; he has never feel like this; hell, even this… this thing he's doing is very new to him. He slowly kisses the cheeks and takes in the plump lips against his. Much to his excitement, the blond kisses him back, as though to sooth the pain he feels.

Much to Naruto's surprise, the pain slowly ceases and in the end he is aware of something thick, hot and throbbing _inside_ him. Somehow, he's excited by it rather than scared. Something has to happen yet he doesn't know what; but he knows he needs more than this. Unconsciously he bucks his hips.

Sasuke is forced to break the kiss at the blonde's sudden move and he let out a pleasured groan. He looks into the beautiful blue orbs and what he sees makes him smile in a predatory manner. Sasuke boldly pulls out slightly and pushes back in. The now-dark-blue orbs suddenly shut and that lips emit beautiful, delicious sound again.

Sasuke is doing something right here; so he thrust in and out, in and out. Soon, he joins the blond in the bliss and their erratic movements are clumsy and messy for their first time but it doesn't matter anymore; what matter most is both find and reach that place they desperately want to reach.

Pushing himself up, Naruto latches his lips against the soft ones of the vampire's. He thrusts his hips to match the downward thrust of this boy above him. The pleasure drowns him in once again as both try to give and feel the pleasure.

It is the first time for both and they don't last that long. Screaming into each other's mouths, they see stars and the white blinds them as they reach the climax.

Sasuke collapses on Naruto after a while, hands and knees giving out due to tiredness.

They fell into peaceful slumber with satiated expression.

**000**

Naruto awakes when he feels something soft moving on his lips. His eyes widen and he tears himself away in shock.

"Y-You..!" So it wasn't a dream after all, huh? The vampire really exists! And he's kissing him, sending tingles all over his body!

"Yes, me," Sasuke smirks. He leans and places his lips next to the blond angel's ear. "Name's Sasuke…" he whispers, hot breath trickling the cartilage and soft lobe.

Shivers run down his spine and Naruto feels something coils in his gut. "I'm Naruto…" he whispers back shyly and in return he feels the boy above him shivers slightly. Well, two can play the game, now, can't they?

Now that the entire introduction's all gone, they can go back screwing like bunnies this time around. This time however, two new words incorporate in the musical chimes in the room- their names.

* * *

**TBC**


	7. Faint & Headache!

I totally didn't realize that it's July already and I haven't updated this for quite a while! So sorry! This was supposed to be 2 separate chapters but as a sign of apology, I combined them to make one longer chapter. Enjoy ;)

Disclaimer: Naruto & co do not belong to me; they are Masashi Kishimotos. Unbeta-ed

* * *

**Chapter ****7: Faint & Headache!**

Naruto smiles tenderly. Never in his life has Naruto feel this content and satiated. He snuggles in closer; but something is irritating him, pushing the content feeling away. What in the hell takes up much space on his bed and pushes him nearing the edge of the bed?!

The blond grunts in annoyance, his only mission now is to push the thing away. But as soon as his palm touches the hard, pale, _warm_ chest, he shrieks, snapping his eyes open and stumbles backward.

"Omph!" the wind is knocked out of him when he falls on the floor. "Shit, that hurts!" The thing, or rather the person on the bed moves, making rustling sound. Black orbs peers from above him; eyes showing amusement.

"Y-You...!" Naruto stutters; so it wasn't a dream after all? His eyes widen in horror. The vampire really exists after all?! Fear creeps in. If… If they had –Naruto blushes at this point; his face red and hot- so much _fun _last night, does that mean that now the vampire is ready to suck his blood dry?

"You… You're a _vampire_!Y-You are not going to _d-drink_ my blood now, are you?!" Naruto shrieks again, hands quickly clamp on his neck protectively.

Sasuke really never know he can have this kind of feeling, but it's like he's floating and it really makes his heart and head light. He decides there and then that he really likes this feeling and for someone who is obsessive and possessive, Sasuke will keep whatever floats his boat close to him.

With each passing second, he finds himself getting more and more drawn to this blond angel- _his _blond angel; and he finds himself more and more amused with this child's antics, especially when he is dubbed 'vampire'. Well, what different does it make because Sasuke dubbed this blond as his _angel_ after all.

"Naruto…" his dark, deep voice rolls the name onto his tongue. Shivers shot down in Naruto's spine at the velvety voice. The blond gulps.

"I'm not interested in your blood," Sasuke says; he doesn't even bother to correct Naruto that he's not a vampire.

"T-Then?" Naruto asks fearfully; something's clicking in his mind but it's still fuzzy.

Sasuke trails his gaze lower and lower, taking in hungrily the astonishing beautiful sight of this angel. Naruto follows his gaze and heat creeps up again, making his face dark with blush and embarrassment.

He's stark naked on the floor!

"Argh!!!" Naruto screams, snatching the nearest sheet, which is located on the bed to cover him. The force makes Sasuke fell backward on the bed but he too then pull another sheet to cover his... umm... private parts.

Unknowingly, heat makes its way up Sasuke's ivory cheeks too when he realized what has happened yesterday. Now that he's fully awake, no lust clouds his eyes and mind, Sasuke too feels embarrassed.

Both look away; avoiding each other's gaze.

**000**

When Shizune steps into the ward that morning, she frowns at the tray of food in front of Sasuke's door. The door is closed too, she notices. Usually in the Psychiatric Ward, no patient room door is allowed to be closed, for safety purposes.

Well, except obviously Sasuke's room- he's got that much of the privileges.

Shizune makes her way to the nurse station at the reception and finds some nurses already at their routine work.

"Why is Sasuke's tray outside his room?"

The nurses look at each other, giving uncomfortable expression. "His door is locked- since yesterday, late afternoon," one of them finally voices out.

An eyebrow arches. "Since yesterday? Doesn't he eat his dinner then?"

The nurses shook their head. "The night-shift staff said it was never touched."

Shizune frowns. Sasuke really should stop giving everyone else death glares. He even scares the nurses and other hospital staff with that to the point that unless the raven-haired gives permission only the others are allowed to do what they need to do, including speaking.

It is an unwritten rule in the ward; and every new nurse, student and rotating doctors that come into the ward are being told about it the very first moment they step into the ward- Nobody is to bother Uchiha Sasuke. If the door is locked, unless if it's Shizune, Tsunade-sensei or Kakashi, no one else is allowed to open it.

And if the door is opened, you knock thrice to signal that you're coming in, do about your business- like checking vitals, putting or picking the food tray and hands the medication and then silently go out. The less the contact and communication, the better.

And those are the reasons why nobody dares to check what's going on with Uchiha Sasuke in his room.

Is it dangerous? No, it's actually safer that way. When Sasuke promises he will not harm himself behind the closed door in any way, he holds to his promises; that's the deal he got from the Head of Psychiatric Department in return for his complete privacy.

Which drove Tsunade-sensei crazy at one point in the past.

"Right…" Shizune says at last. "I'll go and check on him. Where's the key?" One nurse hands her the key and some of them follow her; it's a good lesson to learn how Shizune handles Sasuke.

Silently, or rather foolishly with some of the younger nurses, they hold to high hopes that one day Sasuke will open his heart to them and treat them at least as warm as he treats Shizune. It doesn't matter to them that this young adult has personality disorder or some mental condition; his rather handsome look caught their eyes and hearts.

Foolish young nurses…

Shizune puts the key into the lock and turns it, slowly and gently pushing it open. No morning greeting is needed as Shizune softly whispers, "Sasuke-kun?"

But what she saw freezes her at the door. Shizune pales. What the-?  
One nurse faints.

**000**

The sound from the door breaks the serene atmosphere on the other side of the room. Sasuke's expression instantly changes to an irritated one. How dare somebody interrupt his morning bonding with his blond angel?!

He shot a glare at the door as Naruto turns his head in embarrassment and panic towards the now-opened door.

And they saw one nurse falls ungraciously onto the floor.

If it isn't already tense in the room, Naruto would have laughed his gut out at the fainting and horror faces the females are giving them.

As it turns out, getting caught almost naked is even more embarrassing.

**000**

Tsunade rubs the bridge of her nose. Damn her patient! Damn two teenagers with raging hormones! Damn these two beautiful creatures in front of her! She swore loudly under her breath.

And where the fuck is Jiraiya when she had paged him hundreds of time that this is _urgent_?!

Never before in the history of this hospital; never before in the history of _this_ ward; and _never _before in the history of _her_ being the Head of Department has anything like _this_ happened!

A patient fucks a visitor senseless? _All_ night?! In the sound_proof _room without _any_one else noticing?!

Has the world come to an END?!

The hazel eyes train on the two blushing boys who are facing away from each other. Right…. Only _**now**_ they act all shy and virginal??

_Pssshht!!_ Tsunade rolls her eyes.

"Morning, Tsunade-_chyaaaaann_!!!" the door bursts open and a professor with thick white hair comes in with widest grin. His eyes fix on the healthy bosoms of the blonde woman opposite him; drooling a bit. Behind him, another man with spiky silver-white hair floats in, head buried in a thick orange book. Tsunade twitches.

"Hatake Kakashi!" her voice booms, making even the birds outside fly away in fears. Even the two boys in front of Tsunade stilled at her angry tone.

But that's not the case of Kakashi though. He merely looks up and asks, "Yes?"

"You! You are a staff in this department and yet you walk in here as late as this perverted old man here- And you!" she points to Jiraiya and glares menacingly, "Stop staring at my boobs you pervert! _Both _of you are late and really you will be the cause of my downfall, apart from these two rabbits here and oh God!" Tsunade suddenly groans voice close to tears. "I'm really gonna get fired and sued like this!" she slumps onto her chair in defeat, burying her face in her hands.

Jiraiya looks at Kakashi and vice versa as the two 'rabbits' too look at each other. Oddly, they all shrug at the same time, exactly on the same second and millisecond.

Shizune who is standing at the door shakes her head in pity for the poor lady. Men!

Tsunade sniffs and sits up straight. She takes in big breaths in and out. Her face now is set with determination and seriousness that even Jiraiya stands up straight as if he is facing the head commander of an army troops.

"This blond rabbit… is your research, isn't it Jiraiya?" Tsunade asks menacingly, pointing to Naruto.

Only then Jiraiya notices Naruto who is sitting shyly at one end. "Eh?! Naruto? What are you doing here this morning? You were supposed to meet Kakashi here," he points to Kakashi next to him, and continues, "yesterday afternoon, not today. I gave to the day off, remember?"

Tsunade shakes her head. How this dumbass became a professor is still a mystery to her.

"No, you idiot! He was here since yesterday evening!" Tsunade barks.

"What do you mean?"

"And why is Sasuke here?" Kakashi decides it's time to interrupt, even when he knows it is not a suitable time to interrupt yet.

Tsunade's whole face is red with anger. These men! She feels like snapping their valuable members off!

"This charge of yours, Hatake Kakashi," Tsunade manages in barely control anger. Kakashi has the decency to look afraid at her; whether it's a pretend or for real, nobody knows. "Raped Jiraiya's experiment specimen all night long!" Tsunade hisses. "Now do you want to take the responsibility?!"

"No! She's lying!" Naruto suddenly stands up and shrieks, pointing accusing finger at Tsunade. The adults are taken aback with this. Sasuke glares at his Psychiatrist- what kind of a doctor who wants to smear her patient's reputation?!

"I-It wasn't a rape!" Naruto explains desperately; he doesn't want his vampire to be blamed on. "It was c-consensual! I gave my consent! We were both willing partners!"

The doctors and nurse (Shizune) are frozen. It's not a rape? Naruto was willing? Sasuke didn't rape Naruto?

"I-Is that so?" Tsunade asks, clearly embarrassed at her accusation. When Naruto and Sasuke nod, Tsunade clears her throat uncomfortably. "Well… I'm sorry for accusing you then, Sasuke…" The raven-haired teen is still giving her a glare. Oh boy, she's in trouble now…

"Wait… you had _sex_ with Sasuke?!" Jiraiya's eyes widen at this as the realization sinks in. "Shit…" Jiraiya mutters. Tsunade, Kakashi and Shizune look at him with curiosity. "I'm gonna be killed by Iruka…"

"Who's Iruka?" Kakashi sounds interested. Sasuke rolls his eyes.

"Naruto's dad!" Jiraiya looks like he's about to burst in tears. That scary teacher has warned Jiraiya should anything harmful happen to Naruto, he's a dead meat and you have to take Iruka's threat seriously! Does having sex is categorized as harmful? Jiraiya shook his head; of course it is! Iruka's a father after all! Which father is not overly protective of their child?

Kakashi sighs at this. Damn it. There goes his chance… This Iruka's married…

"What's the problem?" Tsunade asks. Well, she can see there are a lot of problem awaiting for her seeing at how her job now is in jeopardy because of these two senseless rabbits; but what does Jiraiya have to be worried about?

"Tsunade-hime… Naruto's a minor! He's not even 18 yet! That's the problem!"

The other three adults' eyes rounded widely at this. "Naruto's not 18?" Tsunade asks carefully, hoping she heard him wrong.

"I'm 17," Naruto answers her. What's wrong with being 17?

Right, Naruto just has to make everything clear himself, hasn't he? Sweats gather on their faces and necks. This only doubles their problem. Instead of being able to contain the problem here, now they have to bring in Naruto's dad.

And faces high possibility of being sued.

Which mean they could all be sack off their jobs _that_ instant!

"You mean we have to call him in…" Tsunade slumps further in her chair. It doesn't feel as comfy as usual. Shit, she needs sake…

Jiraiya gulps. "That's not the scary part, hime… The scary part is he's an elementary school teacher…" Jiraiya shudders at this; as well as the other three medical professionals at the words. There is an unwritten rule somewhere that elementary school teacher is indeed a scary being despite their soft and gentle treatment to the children.

It's like they have an inner demon that's waiting to be unleashed.

"Oh, I don't think he can come in yet; he's still teaching at this hour. He will be done by 3, I think. I can call him up for you if you'd like," Naruto offers politely, oblivious to the dread the doctors, professor and nurse are having.

Tsunade shakes her head. She can't think carefully with Naruto around, offering information innocently (and although Tsunade feels guilty to add it, it's almost the truth after all) and dumbly.

"It's okay, Naruto… We'll contact him if you don't mind. I'm afraid you have to leave this room with Sasuke for now; I have important matters to discuss with these two doctors. Go and play in Sasuke's room or something…" Tsunade says dryly.

"Play?" Naruto asks stupidly, suddenly feeling something rather erotic and making his skin tingles deliciously.

Tsunade feels like banging her head on her desk looking at Naruto's cloudy dazed blue eyes. "I mean play XBOX or something; Sasuke has the set in his room," Tsunade corrects it quickly.

The cloud of lust quickly goes away as soon as it comes; Sasuke shoot Tsunade another hot glare. "XBOX?!" there's an excitement in Naruto's voice and eyes. "You have XBOX, Sasuke, and you didn't tell me?!" he looks at the dark vampire. Sasuke suppresses the urge to roll his eyes at the idiot; of course he didn't tell Naruto- when did they have time to talk about what Sasuke has in his room?!

"What are we waiting for?! Come on!" and so, the shy Naruto is gone and a crazy, energetic blond takes his place; Naruto drags Sasuke out of Tsunade's office.

Tsunade sighs. "Please don't take your eyes off them, Shizune and make sure the door is opened at all time- You stay in the room too, just in case," Tsunade adds, looking at Shizune pleadingly.

Kakashi watches the two 'rabbits' as Tsunade had called them with curious interest. Sasuke didn't hiss in anger at Naruto for touching him! And was it just his eyes or did he really see that Sasuke seems to tolerate Naruto fine, better from the rest of them?

That really piques his interest and he asks this to Tsunade as he takes his seat. Tsunade ponders for a while, tapping her manicured fingers on the desk.

"I have to agree with you, Kakashi… Can it be that we have found a treatment for Sasuke's Scizoid? Did all we need was to find him a blond male?" Tsunade asks incredulously. Is a blond male really what they need to cure Sasuke from his PD? If they had known that, they would have found him one a long time ago, dammit!

"Uhh... Hello? What's a Schizoid?" Jiraiya asks in confusion; the term indeed sounds familiar but he couldn't place a finger on it. He was once a medical student, he should know this stuff, Jiraiya thinks in annoyance.

The other two look at Jiraiya and sigh simultaneously. They have a lot of explaining to do.

* * *

**TBC  
**I'm gonna introduce a new character next. Care to guess? ;) 

Comments are much, much appreciated; thanks! ♥


	8. Shikamaru The Student

I'm so very sorry for the lateness of this chapter! Was having a major writer's block but that's all settled now (for now anyway :p)

And whoever guessed Shika-chan was right! XD Introducing: Shika-chan the med student! XDD

To Geminirose: Yup, that'd be their official nicknames in here, all right :p

**Disclaimer:** Naruto and co belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Unbeta-ed.

* * *

**Chapter 8: Shikamaru the Student**

Shikamaru steps into the ward, walking lazily and a bored look is on his face. He wonders why the hell he takes medicine when he finds everything in the field to be troublesome! As he walks in, he hears noises from Sasuke's room but he is far too lazy to check it out. So Shikamaru makes his way into the doctor's room to keep his bag and check out from the doctors if they have new patients to be interviewed.

One thing that interests him is interviewing the patients. For some weird, twisted reason, patients like talking him. Probably because he asks just the right questions and listens well (actually, he was far too lazy to give long comments and feedbacks to patients).

The doctor in charged of his team frowns. "Hmm… we don't have any new patient last night… And Tsunade-sensei is quite busy today; there's an… undisclosed case she's involves in at the moment and I don't think anyone is allowed to see her yet. Maybe you can look for some in the locked wards?"

Locked wards? Shikamaru shivers. He doesn't want to go to the locked wards- those are just creepy. As much as the place provides him with some kind of twisted humour, locked wards house some of the creepiest patients Konoha Hospital has ever had. Once he was there and a lady asked him if he thought she was pregnant. Well, her tummy looked a little bumpy and he said yes. With angry eyes, she glared at the nurses who accompanied her and said this boy (Shikamaru) was a genius for noticing that she _was_ pregnant.

It turned out that she was not pregnant after all; she had paranoia and delusion about being pregnant.

But Shikamaru needs to fill in his log book and there will be an exam at the end of the clerkship. To understand psychiatry (and pass the exam) he needs to interview a lot of patients.

Shikamaru sighs. There is no other way… he has to go to the locked wards.

Usually students are not given permission to enter the locked wards unless they are accompanied by a nurse. And all interviews (including with patients from the normal ward) are not allowed to be done in the patients' rooms. It must be done in the open space a.k.a. the garden or in the interview rooms which have large windows so that the nurses and security guards can ensure the safety of the occupants.

Shikamaru looks around. Every nurse seems busy with works. He sighs again, muttering troublesome under his breath. Maybe he could wish Sasuke good morning before rounding the place once again to find a willing nurse.

That's when he sees Shizune-san, having both worried and bored looks on her face.

"Good morning, Shizune-san," Shikamaru bows politely, hearing the noises in Sasuke's room.

Shizune's face lights up seeing the student. "Morning, Shikamaru-kun. Umm… listen, can you do me a favour?" Shizune asks sheepishly.

"Sure…" Shikamaru nods.

"I have… uh, emergency in one of the locked wards," Shikamaru's alert radar picks up. "So… uh, can you look after these two boys for a while?"

"Who?" Shikamaru is genuinely confused. Sasuke doesn't need anyone to watch him- ever, so what has changed?

"Sasuke and… his friend, Naruto." Shizune turns her gaze onto the boy and to her horror Sasuke is straddling Naruto on his bed.

"NOO!!! Sasuke, no!!" Shizune runs to the two boys quickly and with a rough shove at Sasuke, she pulls Naruto upwards. Her face's expression changes into a terrified one looking at Naruto's red face and dazed cloudy eyes.

"Naruto! Naruto!" She shakes the blond named Naruto hard till his eyes focus back.

"Shizune-neechan… Stop shaking me… It makes me dizzy…!" Naruto says in strangled voice.

Shizune stops shaking and relief sigh is heard. Shikamaru watches all these with amusement. Maybe medicine is not that boring after all…

"All you have to do is to make sure that these two just play the XBOX and _nothing _else okay?" She drags Naruto while talking to Shikamaru, making Sasuke glares holes at the back of her head. "_Don't take your eyes off them even for a second_," Shizune emphasizes the last sentence with a warning look that clearly says 'you're in trouble if you do not do exactly that'.

And then she walks out, handing Naruto into Shikamaru's hands.

Shikamaru is still a bit puzzled. As he turns into the blond mass in front of him, he sees a wide grin that reminds him of a cat that Akamaru -Kiba's big dog- usually chases around.

"Hello! My name's Uzumaki Naruto! What's your name?!" the blond is sure chirpy and loud. This is… Sasuke's friend? Shikamaru thinks he spends too much time in the psychiatric ward. Sasuke can't have a friend… he's a loner, recluse; he loathes communicating with other people.

As Shikamaru takes a peek into Sasuke's face, he sees the raven-haired sends him the glare he sent to Shizune. Sweats break on his neck; that means that Shizune is out of Sasuke's 'tolerate-able people' list… He doesn't want to be out too so he quickly deposits Naruto to sit next to the Uchiha on the bed and let the two play the XBOX.

Surprisingly, they do not do anything else apart from playing the game.

Shikamaru looks intently at the raven-haired. Is the world coming to an end? Why is Sasuke entertaining this chirpy blond? He looks at the duo with both interest and questions. Sasuke is patiently explaining to Naruto –in soft, low voice- what the blond did wrong and how to cheat the game. The blond nods enthusiastically, concentrating much on what Sasuke says without taking his eyes of the screen.

Okay, that is just creepy- for Sasuke to change 180 degrees like that! What has happened? Is Sasuke okay now? Does he still need treatment?

_Who_ is this Naruto?!

There are so many questions and none that he learns through lectures, tutorials and psychiatric texts tell him about this. This is downright interesting and would make a good research topic.

"Oi… Sasuke…" Shikamaru drawls lazily. He hears Sasuke grunts- a green light for him to ask questions.

"Who is this?" Shikamaru asks; he knows he's in Sasuke's list of 'tolerate-able people' and he is free to ask Sasuke questions when permitted. If the Uchiha wants to answer it, he will get an answer. If not, the questions will just be floating in the air. It is troublesome, but it makes him even more special, especially among other medical students because out of almost half of his batch who has done the psychiatry clerkship, Shikamaru is the only one who is fortunate enough to step into Sasuke's room.

"You haven't answered Naruto."

Shikamaru quirks his eyebrow; is that a protective sense in the statement? His lips break into a small smirk; Sasuke's showing interest in other than books it seems. So there is some help for this young patient after all. He stands up straight and bows politely to Naruto. "Hello, Naruto. I'm Nara Shikamaru, a medical student. Nice meeting you."

The boy named Naruto pauses the game and grins back widely. "Nice meeting you too, Shikamaru!" He then quickly returns to his game. Shikamaru is torn between feeling funny and annoyed at the blond.

"So, is this your new friend, Sasuke?" Shikamaru asks finally, settling with the blond intrigues his interest more than he annoys him.

"My wife," Sasuke says, with an arrogant smirk on his face.

Shikamaru is stunned; it's obvious from his expression. That's the first time he sees Sasuke smirks; or even bothers to answer his questions -twice in a row! "Y-Your what?" he almost chokes on his saliva. Sasuke only smirks wider, arrogantly almost, his fingers on the joysticks never stop.

The world has really come to an end! Shikamaru pales.

**000**

"Scizoid?" Jiraiya asks again as he takes the seat that was occupied by Naruto. Kakashi takes the one next to him. "Isn't that some kind of Personality Disorder or something like that?"

"I'm surprise you remember it," Tsunade arches one amused eyebrow.

Jiraiya shrugs. "Sounds like Schizophrenia but I'm pretty sure it's not in any type of schizophrenia. So this kid has a personality disorder?"

"He used to have all criteria of Schizoid but he has lost some of it. Actually, Schizoid is not much of Sasuke's problem. It's not enough of a reason to keep him here." Tsunade fetches Sasuke's file.

"How long has he been in the hospital?"

"Oh… just around… let's see… 9 years or so…" Kakashi waves his hand carelessly, putting away his orange book when he notices they are about to enter a serious discussion.

"9 years? _Just_ 9 years?!" the professor's eyes widen.

"Schizoid was not the primary diagnosis Sasuke had when he came in. It only came along as he grew older but it was part of the reasons why he's being admitted here. Initially it was more of his PTSD," Tsunade buts in.

"Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? From what?"

"It's classified information, Jiraiya," Tsunade says irritatingly.

"Yeah, but I deserve to know right? This involves someone under my responsibility as well. Besides, I'm a doctor too."

"You're no longer a practicing doctor, idiot. Anyway, Sasuke's initial diagnosis was PTSD, we only realized about his Schizoid some time after that."

"It's still not enough of a reason why he's been living in a hospital for _9_ years. What kind of parents sending their kid to mental institution like that? He looks perfectly normal; it's not like he has harmful schizophrenia or psychosis of any sorts."

"His parents are dead," Kakashi says.

"Oh…" Jiraiya has a decency to look ashamed at his outburst. "Any other relatives?"

"None…. Well, he has an older brother but he too… is sick… He's my charge as well as Sasuke," Kakashi says, eyes drooping low like he is about to sleep.

"Your charge? Pft! No wonder he's here, Kakashi. You're just too lazy to take care of the kid!" Jiraiya snickers; Kakashi narrows his eyes, not wanting to play the childish game with the old professor.

"He was not easy to manage back then, okay? Flat affect, no emotion, nothing… I work here and no one was at home to look after him. It's only logical to send him here, I can check on him at any time of the day," Kakashi defends himself.

"You mean the _nurses_ can take care of him for you," Jiraiya smirks and it gets wider when Kakashi looks away slightly; that is part of the reason as well.

"Enough bickering, you two," Tsunade interrupts. "There's another problem here…" Tsunade rubs her aching temples. Shit, she shouldn't have been the Head of Department; she would be sacked this instant if the hospital knows about this. Just from watching The Apprentice, she knows it's usually the Project Manager (which in this case is her as the Head of Department), that would be fired and their case is similar.

Only, they are in deeper shit.

"Telling Naruto's father is enough of a problem, Tsunade-hime; he's an Elementary School teacher, remember?" at this, all three of them shiver.

After a moment of scary silent, Tsunade and Kakashi shake their heads. "Actually, the other problem is… Sasuke's a minor too. He's 17," Tsunade says, and Jiraiya pales once more.

"And here I thought he will be under me for just another year before he can be independent…" Kakashi sighs dramatically, as though the fact that Tsunade just stated doesn't give much effect on him.

Tsunade turns to Kakashi. Hold on, one golden eyebrow raises as inspiration hits her. She's the 'Project Manager'; she can bring in someone under her to take the blames for, inwardly Tsunade grins evilly. And since it is Kakashi who Sasuke's under; and it's Kakashi's ward who fucked a visitor senseless; and Kakashi who is at blame for not checking why Naruto was late to see him; she could present him instead to be slaughtered by the Medical Board and hospital!

Oh, what a genius plan! Tsunade laughs maniacally inside.

It seems that Jiraiya has almost the same thought as he looks at the Clinical Psychologist. "He's your ward huh, Kakashi?" Jiraiya says in low voice.

The psychologist ears perk up in alert. He doesn't like Jiraiya's tone. "So?"

"So it's you who is responsible for what Sasuke has done to Naruto."

"What do you mean it's me who's responsible? Naruto said it himself, it's consensual; they were both willing partners! How should I know Sasuke has any interest in Naruto; he has never shown any interest in anything before, well, except books since a couple years ago. And besides, Naruto's a male, nothing's going to happen."

Jiraiya chuckles darkly; in which Tsunade frowns. That is not a good chuckle coming from Jiraiya. "Kakashi… Kakashi… That's where you are wrong…"

"What do you mean?" Tsunade asks, fears grip in her heart.

"Naruto is not entirely a male…"

Both medical staffs in the ward look at each other in confusion before looking at Jiraiya incredulously. How is that possible?

"I'm doing a research on intersexuality… people who have _both_ male _and_ female reproductive organs. Naruto is one of my research 'specimen' so to speak… So… there's every little possibility that… you know… But he's been living as a male all this while and Sasuke probably thinks he's a male, so let's just hope that that doesn't happen…"

Kakashi pales at this. "Fuck!" he mutters under his breath.

Tsunade hears it and looks at Kakashi sharply. "What have you done, you fool?" she snarls at his paling face.

"I… Uhh… When Sasuke started to show some interest in reading… I… uh… I've been… occasionally…" Kakashi gulps; suddenly the room's temperature is no longer a comfortable cooling temperature. His mask is too tight, constricting his throat chokingly. "I've been occasionally… uhh… leaving some…" his voice drops to a guilty whisper, "…porn books behind…"

"You've been WHAT?!" both Tsunade and Jiraiya shout. Kakashi trembles. How would he know something like this would be happening? Back then it seemed fun to tease Sasuke!

"Tell me it's one of your gay porn, Kakashi…" Jiraiya growls lowly. And when Kakashi shakes his head, both older doctors start to pale too. Great!

"Great job, Kakashi," Tsunade says sarcastically. "That only adds to our problem."

"And only adds complexity to what we have to tell Iruka," Jiraiya groans. He _so_ doesn't want to tell Iruka all this!

"That brings us to another problem. Who's going to tell Naruto's father of this?" Tsunade feels like pulling all her hair out, but she remains calm.

"NOT ME!" Jiraiya shouts completely.

"Why not you? Naruto's under you. You know his father more and so you're a perfect candidate," Tsunade glares at him.

"_That_ is the exact reason why I shouldn't be the one explaining about what happened and all the risks that involve in this case. He has already dubbed me as 'pervert' and I don't want to risk my reputation no more!"

"What did you do, you pervert?!" Tsunade barks back; irritated that Jiraiya always bring this kind of problems to her.

Jiraiya shrugs, looking away. Tsunade's eyes widen at this. "You still carry those picture cards, aren't you?!" she almost screams. "I told you to get rid of it!"

"Naruto wouldn't let me do physical examination on him, okay? The cards saved me!"

"It also makes you the most perverted man on the Earth! Who in their right mind carry _real_ picture of human private parts!" Kakashi laughs at this, but quickly shuts up when Tsunade sends him a heated glare.

Tsunade grunts. Things look mixed up at the moment and she really doesn't want to deal with this. All she wants is good cups of sake, for goodness' sake!

"Okay, put that aside for a moment. The question now is _who_ is going to tell Naruto's father about this?" Tsunade looks with intimidating expression, clearly sending message to the two males in front of her that she's not going to be the one to call Iruka.

"Not me, nu'-uh!" Jiraiya quickly shakes his head again.

"It must be either you or Jiraiya, Tsunade-sama," Kakashi says calmly.

"Oh yeah?" Tsunade raises one blond brow challengingly. "And why is that, Kakashi-_sensei_?"

Kakashi tries not to look scared but it is clearly a pathetic attempt. His voice is calmer than he looks though; even Tsunade has to give him some credits.

"Jiraiya, because this Iruka-sensei knows him the most among us three. Naruto after all is indirectly under his care. And you simply because you're the Head of the Department."

"I'd rather you telling Naruto's father of what happened, Kakashi. Sasuke after all, is _your_ charge," Tsunade smirks. Jiraiya nods in agreement. Kakashi frowns a bit. Two against one, he's on the loosing side here.

"But Sasuke is _your_ patient," Kakashi tries again. "You're responsible too," Jiraiya nods at Kakashi's statement. Tsunade growls at Jiraiya, fickle-minded pervert! She takes a deep breath. This is clearly not working. They have to act on it fast, the more they delay, the worse the damage could be and more works are being held up.

"Okay, I've decided," she nods to herself. "And since I'm the Department Head, you have no say against this. Jiraiya, you will call Iruka and ask him to come here as soon as possible. I'll tell Iruka what happened but you, Kakashi has to tell him about Sasuke since he's your charge and since you're supposed to meet Naruto yesterday."

Kakashi sweat-drops. It's saying _he_ is the one that has to tell Iruka everything, that sneaky Tsunade… But does he really have other choice? Maybe not…

"Fine…" Kakashi mumbles grudgingly. "But let's just reiterate what are our potential problems; well, apart from getting sued by Iruka-sensei…"

"Sasuke had sex with Naruto- that's the main one," Jiraiya chips in.

"That's like, obvious, you pervert," Tsunade scowls. "But Naruto said consensual, so maybe that will back us up a bit. Second problem is both are minors," she looks at Kakashi.

"There's also a possibility that… well… Naruto… you know… being pregnant… I mean he… she…" Jiraiya shakes his head. It's quite hard, really, to comprehend the fact that Naruto –who has been living his life as a boy and believes himself as a boy- can get pregnant.

"It's your responsibility to tell Iruka that then, Jiraiya," Tsunade says firmly, not giving him any space to object. "You have to make thorough examination on Naruto as soon as possible."

"But he wouldn't even let me touch him!" Jiraiya whines.

"Of course he wouldn't, you idiot! He's not stupid!" Tsunade barks.

"Wait, I'm confused… we're calling Naruto a 'he' because he's been living his life as a boy, right? Is there any specific noun for intersexual people?" Kakashi interrupts, wanting to stop the wrath happening in the room.

Jiraiya shakes his head. "No, there's none as far as I know. We'll just stick with addressing Naruto as a boy since he's used to that. Just, keep in our mind that he's special, that's all."

"Alright then," Tsunade claps her hands once. Then she picks the phone cradle and hands it over to Jiraiya. "Call Umino Iruka now."

He's reluctant. _Very_ reluctant to even entertain the idea of calling Iruka, but Jiraiya knows he has no other options…

* * *

**TBC…****  
Next: **Sasuke is irritated… He wants moments alone with Naruto and yet Shikamaru has been given a clear order to guard them. What to do, what to do? 

Feedbacks are most welcomed! They'll tell me if you're still interested in this fic! ♥


	9. Plan C!

**Important notice:** I have a feeling that this will be the last chapter I post until I've settled down nicely in uni. It'll try to post the next one as soon as I can but please give me a room to breathe (give me weeks- can't promise how long though)- starting school again after 9 months of break is a very stressing thing for me at the moment, not to mention the stress of transferring schools… Wish me luck:-)

To idiotlord: The nicknames are going to stay all right. XD Thanks for your review ;) A part of how they handle Iruka is in this chap XDD  
To toosweet05: Glad you liked it ;-) Hope you like this one too :-)

Standard disclaimer applies. Unbeta-ed

* * *

**Chapter 9: Plan C!**

The corridor is empty now. White walls on his left and right are washed-white, decorated with plaques and glass cabinets with various trophies and medals on display. Occasionally pictures of different people and large panels with student's names from different years are seen.

Iruka has just finished his second class and is now having a tea break. He's walking serenely towards the staffroom, a small smile fleets across his face.

Yup, Iruka is in a good mood this morning.

His face frowns a bit at the thought that Naruto didn't come home last night but it happened thrice before and it turned out that Naruto slept at Jiraiya's place due to the long hours he spent for Jiraiya's research.

Maybe he judges Jiraiya badly too early?

Anyway, Iruka is not too worried now. He feels he could trust Jiraiya and the misplaced opinion makes him flushe with embarrassment. The professor said he would keep an eye on Naruto during his research and so far Jiraiya has kept his words.

He greets the teachers in the staffroom politely, making his way towards his designated desk and puts his books down. Walking slowly to a long wood-top cabinet by the window at the back of the room, Iruka then takes out a mug from the brown-coloured cabinet below the wooden top. Jars of tea and sugar are seen on the wood-top, he flicks his finger to boil the water in the kettle.

Nimbly, Iruka spoons a tea-spoon of tea into his mug and adds a couple of teaspoon of sugar in it. Fishing some biscuits from the tin next to the tea jar, he then waits for the water to boil, the sound rumbles at the back of the room.

And then his cell phone vibrates in his pants pocket; the sound is always muted during his lessons.

"Hello?"

"Iruka-sensei? This is Jiraiya-sensei. Can you take the rest of the day off?" Though Jiraiya's voice is calmed, he senses the urgency in it.

"Is Naruto okay?" his mother-hen mode kicks in. All his good thoughts of the older professor are seeping away fast. 'If anything happened to Naruto…' his mind reels.

"Naruto's okay…" there's a small hesitation in it and Iruka has heard it. Jiraiya might have realized it too for he adds quickly, "He's not hurt or injured. He's fine, really but I need you to come to Konoha Hospital as soon as possible."

"But it's about Naruto, yes?" Iruka presses firmly. It has to be it, what else?

"Er… yes… Yes, it is…"

His heart is gripped with worry for Naruto. It must be urgent for Jiraiya to call him like this. "I'll be there in half an hour."

"Uh… I need you to come down to the Psychiatric Department. I'll wait for you there."

Iruka frowns. He doesn't like Jiraiya's tone. "Psychiatric Department?"

"I'll explain to you when you get here."

Iruka doesn't have any choice.

**000**

Shikamaru yawns. This is supposed to be his productive day! He even cares to arrive on time today and yet he's been given tasks to watch over apparently two horny boys. It has been almost two hours after Shizune has passed the job to him and all he wants to do now is to sleep his day away.

The problem is as soon as he closes his eyes for longer than 7.23 seconds, Naruto's excited cheers over the game is gone and the two is then spotted with… some other pleasurable activities.

It doesn't get further than a kiss or a grope or a touch at where it is forbidden (because he notices it soon enough to break it off) but Shikamaru really doesn't want to deal with it anymore. It is far more tiring than it seems and too much of a trouble.

At first he has to physically separate them, at which Sasuke gives him really deathly glares soon after. But after a few successful separation attempts, he finally makes a deal with Sasuke (to avoid being glared at and being kicked out of Sasuke's 'tolerate-able list of people'): Shikamaru only has to warn him (without the physical touch) every time he sees the Uchiha makes a move and Sasuke in turn has to stop molesting Naruto that instance.

Which of course doesn't make sense to Shikamaru in the first place because if the Uchiha doesn't touch Naruto, he doesn't have to be warned at all!

Shikamaru sighs; he doesn't think even Tsunade-sensei could read Sasuke at all.

Another thing that puzzles Shikamaru is Naruto. He is happily playing the game with Sasuke and yet when Sasuke makes advances on him, he doesn't even resist! In fact, Naruto seems like he enjoys what Sasuke's doing to him.

This is just a bit too much for a medical student who just starts his first clinical year… Even the theory doesn't teach him how to handle this kind of situation.

On the other hand, Sasuke is also tired with Shikamaru's presence in his room. All he wants is for everybody to leave him and his angel alone so that they can engage in more interesting, private, pleasurable 'game'. Naruto seems to want it too; from the way his scent changes every time Sasuke touches him.

That's another perk of being an Uchiha; they have a very keen sense of smell and to Sasuke, Naruto's scent is addicting.

Correct that, not only Naruto's scent is addicting; his _whole_ body and personality are addicting to Sasuke. And he couldn't just get enough of him.

Naruto is his drug.

Usually a glare is enough to send one out of his room. But since Shikamaru is in his 'tolerate-able people' list, he usually asks Shikamaru to leave him alone politely. The brunette's presence usually doesn't annoy him and Shikamaru doesn't ask him stupid questions like the others- those are the main reasons why Sasuke could tolerate Shikamaru.

But now Shikamaru is starting to irritate him. It's all because of that one busty psychiatrist of him who forbids Shizune to take her eyes off Naruto and Sasuke and now she has relayed the warning to Shikamaru.

Just to quote Shikamaru himself, this is indeed troublesome, Sasuke sends another glare to Shikamaru but the brunette doesn't budge.

Time to move on to Plan B- which he hates because it means he has to talk and all he wants to do with his mouth now is… okay, let's just not discuss about it and just proceeds with Plan B.

"Leave us, Nara."

Shikamaru turns his eyes to Sasuke. That is Sasuke's polite way to ask him to leave the room. As much as he wants to do that, he loves his profession as a student more. He doesn't want to be sued by the hospital.

"Can't Sasuke. You know that; order from Shizune-san." Shikamaru says. He looks at Sasuke's impassive face. It shows nothing but he knows the Uchiha is planning on something.

Something that he won't like.

Suddenly Sasuke smirks. Okay… that is just freaky! Sasuke smirks _twice_ already and it's not a good sign… Shikamaru pales.

"You know what emergency Shizune said she has?" Sasuke says smugly, trying to fish Shikamaru.

"I don't know, Sasuke. And frankly, I don't think it's my business to know."

"They're transferring Gaara from the locked ward to here. He should be an interesting patient to be interviewed." Sasuke relays the information anyway; he heard it from a nurse who came in to see Shizune earlier.

Shikamaru almost takes Sasuke's bait. If he's not fast enough, other students might get to this Gaara first. Shikamaru forces himself to look uninterested.

"You haven't meet Gaara yet, have you?" Sasuke continued. "He has Bipolar Disorder with traits of Antisocial Personality Disorder. I'm sure he makes a good case." One of the many other advantages of living in the psychiatric ward is Sasuke knows a lot of patients and their backgrounds. His room after all is situated near the nursing station. In fact, Sasuke might know more than some of the doctors and nurses there.

Shikamaru ignores Sasuke's bait, although it is very tempting to go and find Gaara the patient. He's a medical student dammit! Not a babysitter!

"I'll find him later, Sasuke. Thanks for the information," Shikamaru forces himself to say it and smirks a second later when he sees Sasuke's clenched jaw. Okay, he just pisses Sasuke off, but it really isn't his fault!

Sasuke's anger ebbs away as Naruto calls him (by the name of Vampire-san, by the way) to teach him a new trick to go to the next level. Shikamaru turns his gaze to the sunny blond.

And Shikamaru is amused; the blond really is a cure for Sasuke's PD after all. Nobody has been able to do what Naruto just achieved. And although he seems very much like a 5 year-old at the moment, Shikamaru can guess he's brighter than that.

He's just an excited teen to see an XBOX set.

He watches as Sasuke patiently teaches Naruto how to go about the game (they're trying a different game now) and the blond listens intently. Though Naruto speaks and listens in affectionate and tender manner to Sasuke, why does he sometimes call Sasuke 'Vampire-san'?

Shikamaru is puzzled. And even his higher than average people's IQ couldn't give him an answer.

**000**

"Where's Naruto?" Iruka asks worriedly as soon as he's in hearing range with Jiraiya.

"He's okay in another room; we're heading to Tsunade-sensei's, head of Psychiatric Department, office," Jiraiya answers calmly, leading Iruka upstairs.

"Why are we meeting a psychiatrist? What happened to Naruto? Jiraiya, if something happened to him-"

"Everything will be explained. Naruto's fine," Jiraiya cuts him, he himself feeling on edge with Iruka's constant badgering of Naruto's safety. But it's not Iruka's fault, he's Naruto's father after all. He's entitled to be worried and overly protective.

Having no other options, Iruka follows the white-haired professor silently into a spacious reception that oddly doesn't smell typically of antiseptic that usually presents in hospital. The bulky professor took the first right turn and Iruka walks close behind him.

They finally reach a burgundy oak door and after knocking once, Jiraiya pushes the door open. He signals for Iruka to take an empty seat opposite a busty blonde woman with hazel eyes.

"This is Tsunade-sensei, the head of Psychiatric Department of Konoha Hospital," Jiraiya says as the female doctor stands up and bows. Iruka returns the polite gesture. In his mind curiosity sets in, isn't she too young to be the head of a department?

"She's also Uchiha Sasuke's psychiatrist," Jiraiya adds and before Iruka could ask anything, Jiraiya points to a figure leaning casually against the book rack on their left. "And this is Hatake Kakashi-sensei, Sasuke's official guardian and our Clinical Psychologist."

Iruka's surprised expression is clear on his face, he never expect there's someone else in this room. Kakashi's silent presence amuses him as much as it surprises him.

"Tsunade, Kakashi, this is Umino Iruka-san, Naruto's father," Jiraiya says after the two bow- a polite curtsy when two new people are meeting for the first time.

"Who's this Uchiha Sasuke?" Iruka asks as he takes his seat.

Jiraiya dreads the question. He is hoping Iruka would ask that later but the teacher seems to take in everything he says. He guesses he couldn't expect less from a teacher.

"We'll come to that in a moment," Jiraiya finally says, buying himself some time. "Kakashi here is the psychologist that Naruto was supposed to meet yesterday."

"Supposed to meet?" Iruka frowns.

"He… got distracted, Naruto said so himself," Jiraiya continues and he sees how Iruka sighs. Guess that happens a lot with Naruto then, Jiraiya muses, so the blame's not entirely on their side, it seems.

"But he did end up here, only…." There's a very uncomfortable note in Jiraiya's tone, Iruka notes. And as a teacher, his observation skill is sharp, perhaps as sharp as doctors or detectives if not more- thus he sees how uncomfortable Tsunade and Kakashi are being too, even though in Kakashi's case, Iruka has to applaud him, it's barely seen.

"Only…?" Iruka presses. Naruto has done something that he's not supposed to do, his mind supplies. And it's more than just not turning up to his appointment. Otherwise, Iruka wouldn't need to be here today. He has to talk to Naruto about responsibility and all that again- even though they have talked about it thousands of time.

"Only…" Jiraiya shifts, hoping Iruka doesn't sense his erratically beating heartbeat. "He spent the night here… with one of the patient- Uchiha Sasuke…"

"WHAT?!" Iruka instantaneously stands up; the chair is pushed backward by the sheer force of Iruka's standing. The three doctors flinch at the high-pitch tone of Iruka's voice.

"What do you mean he spent the night here- in this hospital, _with_ this Uchiha Sasuke?!" Iruka's voice rises and he moves too fast- his hands suddenly fist the bunch of Jiraiya's front shirt tightly, making the aged professor suffocates. "Who is Sasuke? What did he do to Naruto?!"

It's not that Jiraiya refuses to answer, but he is shaken so hard by Iruka -plus the tightness around his neck- renders him from even thinking, let alone speaking.

"Umino-san, please! Calm down!" Jiraiya hears Tsunade's horrified voice, and two seconds later he's being released. Unceremoniously he fells onto the chair he was seating, gasping frantically for oxygen, his blue face turns red as blood rushes in.

Jiraiya coughs, he feels Tsunade handing him a glass of water, which he accepts gratefully.

"Let me see Naruto! You irresponsible old man, you said you'll keep an eye on him! And now you're telling me he was here last night! Let me go!" when Jiraiya looks up, he sees how Kakashi is struggling to keep Iruka away from him, sweat breaks on Kakashi's forehead- the man doesn't even has the time to appreciate Iruka's beauty; the teacher already scares him to boot!

Jiraiya shivers, Iruka possess a scary amount of strength that he thinks is beyond human!

**000**

Sasuke is seething inside. Okay, Shikamaru has just stepped beyond his patience limit. He looks at Naruto's plump, pink lips and wets his. That serves as a nice distraction, especially when he needs clear head to think for the Plan C.

So even Gaara is not intriguing enough for Shikamaru... It has been almost three hours now and he wonders if Shikamaru doesn't need to use the toilet. Then he shakes his head mentally. No, that will not work. Shikamaru will only budge when Shizune or Tsunade herself says so. He will hold his bladder till the very last minute.

Besides, that will require him to talk and he doesn't feel like it anymore.

Naruto stops and tugs on his sleeve again, having difficulties with the game- yet again. Sasuke sighs, he likes the blond- a lot, but Naruto keeps on doing this and…. Sasuke blinks… he is about to say, and it's starting to irritate him, but instead he finds it… endearing almost… Naruto's cute when he's puzzled and all uke-ish like this, with big blue eyes looking at him pleadingly.

Sasuke smirks internally. He has just figures out Plan C…!

Without wasting even .00000000001 second, Sasuke captures Naruto's pink lips in a hard, wet kiss, tasting the delicious taste of Naruto. The blond instantly closes his eyes and kisses back just as hard, pushing _his_ own tongue to pry Sasuke's lips open.

Sasuke relents and parts his lips; touching Naruto's wet one with his. Both moan in pleasure. Sasuke cups Naruto's face, angling his face to deepen the kiss and let them both breathe trough their noses. Naruto buries his hands into Sasuke's black locks, gripping the hair tightly and pulls the head down more.

Their breaths mingle hotly against each other's skin, their scent invade the other strongly yet intoxicatingly.

Sasuke groans as his tongue moves erotically against Naruto's pliant one and they dance seductively in Sasuke's cavern. And then Sasuke pushes his tongue into Naruto's hot mouth and runs it on the blonde's teeth, gums and roof before engaging into another tango that makes Naruto moans and presses himself more into Sasuke's body. Saliva drools out on Naruto's chin.

Shikamaru's eyes widen at the forward display in front of him. His whole body freezes as he sees the two licks the other's tonsils like there's no tomorrow. Shit, he can feel himself getting aroused at this!

He sees Sasuke opens one eye and the onyx eye shows everything- I win!

The brunette clears his throat, slowly backing out when his muscles obey his mind to get out of there. "I… uh… I need to f-find Shizune-san!" Shikamaru quickly forces himself to back off and out of the room.

Sasuke smirks as he pushes the blond to lie on the bed. He straddles the blond and slowly unbuttons the blonde's shirt; lips still lock with Naruto's.

_Take that!_

Plan C works!

**000**

It takes almost 15 minutes to calm Iruka down. He finally gives in when Tsunade promises to take him to Naruto soon if he calms down and be civilized- meaning no more attacking Jiraiya, or anyone in the office for that matter.

The brunette elementary school teacher clears his throat, flushing at both his uncontrolled outburst and anger at Jiraiya. He could sense something bad did happen to Naruto for Jiraiya to suddenly call him like that.

"What did he do to Naruto?" Iruka asks in barely concealed tone of worry, anger and dread.

"They… slept together, I'm afraid," it's Tsunade who breaks the news, for Jiraiya is still grasping for breath after Iruka slipped off Kakashi's iron grips and attacked Jiraiya again. Kakashi himself is panting laboriously. Iruka's tanned face suddenly turns white.

"W-What d-do you mean s-slept together?" Iruka whispers, his knees suddenly weak, but he feels the urge to strangle Jiraiya again, sending the professor a heated glare after a moment.

"Naruto says it was consensual-"

"Where's Naruto? I want to speak to him!" Iruka cuts Tsunade, his voice raises a pitch again.

Tsunade sighs; she knows Iruka will hear nothing unless he has seen Naruto's safe and sound. "I'll take you to him but you have to promise not to make a scene. This is a hospital after all."

That statement makes Iruka snap out of his anger for a second. He clears his throat again and straightens up his shirt. "Yes, well… I'm sorry about that but wait till you're being sued for negligence," Iruka finally says in clipped voice.

Tsunade, Kakashi and Jiraiya instantly pale. That is _one_ thing that they want to avoid right now and yet Iruka has already said it.

"There are a few things need to be discuss before you take that action, Umino-san and I hope we would come to an agreement that that is something very unnecessary," Tsunade tries to sound authoritative and she hopes Iruka buys it.

"I'll make my decision after I've seen Naruto," Iruka's serious voice clearly states that he's not buying whatever Tsunade wants him to believe.

* * *

**TBC…  
****Next: **Naruto and Iruka. Iruka and the doctors. To sue or _not _to sue? 

**P/s-** Leave me nice reviews so they can cheer me up after stressing on the prospect of transferring schools and having exam every Friday.


	10. The Discussion

Gah! I'm so sorry for not updating this for such a long time!! I was really busy that I could only concentrate in updating one fic. Then my laptop was sent for service (and I stupidly didn't save the edited version this fic in other places) and then when I finally got it, I had final exams! I was thinking of finishing my other fic first before continuing this but I really feel guilty that I've left this for too long. Sorry everyone –bows-

That's also the reason why I haven't replied to any of your comments and I'll do so soon!

Standard disclaimers apply.

* * *

**Chapter 10: The Discussion**

"Sasuke?" Tsunade knocks the door once and pushes the wooden door, it creaks softly. Though the noise from the XBOX is loud, what she sees is the one that makes her eyes widen. "Sasuke! What the hell-?!"

But Tsunade is cut and pushes aside by a fast blur from her right, a frantic yell of Naruto's name is heard and Tsunade is torn between being amused and laughing at how Sasuke is pushed roughly to the other side of the bed or feeling scared that the younger Uchiha is treated rudely- it's more like she's scared for Iruka's safety rather than for Sasuke himself.

"Naruto! Son, are you okay?! Is this the guy who molested and raped you last night?!" Iruka sends a hateful glare at the dark-haired patient, his eyes narrowing dangerously as he shakes Naruto and checks for any injury.

The female psychiatrist would have smile in glee to see Sasuke's eyes widen a fraction when Iruka addressed Naruto as 'son' but she knows it is unwise to do so. It's clear from the flush on Sasuke's cheek, the way he straddled Naruto just now and from the way Naruto's shirt was pushed up (and now has been smoothed back down by Iruka) what Sasuke and Naruto were engaging in.

Tsunade shakes her head- Sasuke has never acted this way so she's at lost what to do now.

"Iruka?" Naruto's clouded eyes finally clear, the azure blue focuses on his father.

"Come on, Naruto. We're getting out of here. I should know better than to trust that perverted old man. Coming to this big city is never a good idea, lots and lots of bad people. Come, Naruto, stand up!" Iruka mutters angrily, stealing a loathing glance at Sasuke. Tsunade pales at this, and so do Jiraiya and Kakashi that are standing behind her.

"You're Naruto's father," Sasuke says, deadpanned.

"And I'm going to sue you!" Iruka threatens, sending angry sparks to Sasuke. "You raped my son!"

"No! He didn't!" It's Naruto who comes to Sasuke's defence, much to Iruka's shock. Sasuke's impassive face doesn't change; in fact his dark eyes challenge Iruka to accuse him more.

"I know what happened, Naruto. Now, come on, we're going home!" with monstrous strength, he pulls Naruto, the blond stumbles forward and quickly balances himself to stand properly.

"But I want to stay!" Naruto says urgently, pulling Iruka's hand back.

Iruka turns; a clear shock expression is etched on his face. "What did you say?" he whispers.

"I want to stay," Naruto says stubbornly. The three doctors watch the scene unfolding in from of them with curious eyes.

"But he raped you!" Iruka blows, pointing accusing finger at Sasuke who's sitting on his bed rather comfortably, like nothing has happened.

"He did not, _Chichiue_! You have to listen to me!" that's the first time the other four people in the room, minus Iruka that is, hear Naruto's authoritative voice. Whatever retort Iruka is planning to give to his son dies in his throat.

Naruto seldom calls him 'Chichiue'. When Naruto asked him years ago why his family name is not the same as Iruka, Iruka had explained that he's not Naruto's biological father and since then the blond stops calling Iruka 'Chichiue'. It pains him, but Iruka has to respect Naruto's decision. The sunny blond says it's not that the title doesn't fit Iruka, the brunet teacher is more than a father to him, but if he calls Iruka his father, that's where their relationship restrains. Naruto looks at Iruka as more than that, a father, a brother, a teacher and someone who ultimately knows him the most.

Calling Iruka by his name gives Naruto no boundaries to confide in Iruka his most and deepest secrets, insecurities, achievements and happiness.

So Iruka plays along with him.

There are instances where Naruto would call the man 'Chichiue'. For example when he wants Iruka to really listen to him or when he's being truthfully serious and wants to be treated seriously and equally like an adult. Their relationship is usually light and chivalry, full of nothing serious and deep but the moment it comes, Iruka knows when- 'Chichiue' is one of the signs.

"It's something that Sasuke and I agreed upon, and something that we both wanted," Naruto starts to blush at this.

"But you're underage!"

"I'll be 18 soon," Naruto states defiantly.

"In 10 more months, Naruto," Iruka reprimands. And until then, I am officially your _guardian_, Naruto hears the unspoken words.

Sasuke notes the statement. So Naruto will be 18 soon…

"Are you even aware of the gravity of the situation, Naruto?" Iruka asks impatiently. He hates it when Naruto acts like he knows everything.

"What's the use of you subscribing to the cable with all that National Geographic and Discovery channels and you nagging me all the time to watch educational programs in it if I know nothing, _Chichiue_?" blue eyes challenge the brown pools.

Iruka sighs exasperatedly. Naruto could be so smart when he wants it- and usually when it's in the wrong timing.

Tsunade takes the moment of silent to cut their argument. They are being quite loud that if they don't move to her office soon, nurses, doctors, students and probably some patients will gather here.

And she knows Sasuke doesn't fancy that.

She clears her throat. "We should discuss this at my office, if both of you could follow me."

Iruka looks at Naruto, daring him to agree. Naruto is being stubborn as his father.

"Please," the plea and desperate tone in Tsunade's voice makes Iruka sighs and agree grudgingly.

"But Naruto's coming too. I'm not letting him stay in one room as him," he glares at Sasuke. If Sasuke twitches, there's no sign of it. Either he's really good at hiding or controlling it; or he really feels nothing at Iruka's statement.

Tsunade sees Shizune, hurriedly standing at the door. "Watch him, Shizune. And make sure he doesn't leave the room. Where the hell were you anyway?" she whispers the last question.

"Gaara's being transferred into this ward. I'm so sorry, Tsunade-sensei," Shizune answers, dread fills in her stomach as she realizes that her absence causes all this.

Tsunade nods stiffly before leading the men back into her office. As much as she wants to blame Shizune, she knows she couldn't. Gaara is another case that as sensitive, if not more, as Sasuke.

Damn it, she ought to retire early!

**000**

There's an eerie silence in Tsunade's office. Naruto takes in the spacious room carefully, quite a lot of things he missed when he was here this morning; the wide mahogany desk in front of him where Tsunade is sitting behind at, the wide window panel that overlooks the parking lot below with hills covering the surrounding far beyond the lot, the wall on his left side with high book racks and steel cabinets against it, a small oval table with two comfortable seats (which one is occupied by Jiraiya at the moment) behind him, a floral table cloth over the oval table with a tall vase of tulips in the middle and a set of china tea set slightly on its left and two high book racks on his right where Kakashi is comfortably leaning against.

The files, folders, stationeries cup, small ornaments and picture frames, books and computer are all neatly organized on Tsunade's desk. There's a medium-seized white board on the right wall, facing straight at Tsunade; a chart of some sort is written on it and so does a list of names that Naruto is not sure what it is about.

But it's not what's important now.

He could feel the silent wrath of his father and Naruto doesn't like it. Most of the time, Naruto is more like a child, running around excitedly, innocently (or rather stupidly) pointing at various, different, obvious objects in fascination and talking non-stop and loudly, making a lot of people around him feeling embarrassed and annoyed (and still a lot of girls look at him with admiration, giggling and whispering at how cute he's being- in which Naruto at times is totally clueless about but most of the time is aware of it and still couldn't understand why).

But what he did just now, Naruto sighs. It was rude, to use that tone, Naruto knows and he regrets it, especially if he's hurting Iruka. However, at the same time he feels the need to protect Sasuke; vampire-san is not at fault; if only he is, Naruto carries the same amount of fault if not more.

And Naruto doesn't regret that.

As much as he loves being childish and clueless and bright, Naruto knows when he steps beyond the line. He might not act 17 but sometimes he understands things much deeper than anyone else.

And now he wants to stay, and it's something that he truly wants after such a long time.

"Umm… Tsunade-sensei… Can I be left alone with my dad for a few minutes?" he asks politely, glancing over his shoulder. How he regrets using that tone to Iruka- his father has never stays mad at him for this long.

"Sure… Just tell us when we can come in," Tsunade nods and stands up. With a flick of her head, she orders the other two doctors out too. They walk and shut the door with a click.

But quickly the three lean against the door, ears press against the burgundy oak to listen carefully.

"I'm sorry, Chichiue…" Naruto looks down. "I didn't mean to be rude at you…"

Iruka sighs, all the angry tension lines on his face are gone at Naruto's soft tone. He couldn't stay angry at the sunny blond for long even if he wants to. Naruto just holds a lot of power not to make him angry.

"I don't think you know what's at stakes here, Naruto. You don't know what's actually going on," Iruka says softly yet with so much concern.

"I do. I do know. I'm perfectly aware what Sasuke and I have done, Iruka and I'm not regretting it," Naruto's firmly replies, soft pink hue adorn his cheeks.

"He's not forcing you of anything?" Iruka looks at him worriedly.

"No."

"You're only 17, Naruto. I don't think-"

"It's what I want," Naruto cuts his father.

"Naruto," Iruka says exasperatedly. "If you want that XBOX set I saw in Sasuke's room, you should have just told me, I'd buy one for you. You don't have to defend someone who raped you just because you want to play that game set."

"But that's not what I'm referring to," Naruto frowns. "I like Sasuke, that's it. He's…" Naruto blushes again. "He's someone who I can… connect to, I guess…"

"Just like that?" Iruka asks sceptically.

Naruto's frown deepens. "Just like that…" he answers, but it's laced with uncertainty and self-doubt now.

"Naruto…" Iruka's heart breaks at the vulnerable expression on Naruto's face.

"It's just that," Naruto takes a deep breath and expels it loudly. "I feel like Sasuke doesn't care what I am, that he befriends me for who I am, not caring if I'm a… a freak!" Naruto's blue eyes glaze with unshed tears. Iruka looks at his sons with his own unshed tears. Ever since that embarrassing question he asked in Biology class, some guys kept on picking on him, making Naruto aloof with the guys. Even though most girls adore him, that particular incident created a whole new sense of insecurities in Naruto and Iruka knows of this.

And no matter how much he talks to Naruto about it, the vulnerability that makes Naruto so cautious in choosing friends is still there. In fact, Naruto doesn't have a best friend that he could confide in.

"You are not a freak, Naruto," Iruka emphasizes.

"I am! Who in the whole wide world have-" he leaves the sentence hanging as he looks away.

"Isn't that the reason why we moved to Konoha?" Iruka grasps Naruto's face and turn it towards his. "That does _not_ make you a freak, Naruto. It makes you different, yes, but never a freak, understand me?" Iruka's grip on Naruto's shoulder tightens, as though it could make his words sink into Naruto's mind.

Naruto nods solemnly.

"Is that the only reason why you want to stay here?" Iruka changes the topic. He still feels unsafe leaving Naruto here. They ought to move back to where they came from, a hilly country side with no tall buildings and pollution.

Naruto suddenly blushes again at this, making Iruka amuse. He has never seen Naruto blushes this much, not even when that girl daringly stole his first kiss a year ago.

"Is it because of that Sasuke again?" Iruka asks, eyes narrowing, not liking where this is going.

Naruto nods. He mumbles something under his breath.

"What?" Iruka leans in. "I didn't catch that. What did you say?"

"I said he's pretty!" the red colour on Naruto's tanned face darken, if one looks carefully, there might even be steams coming out from his redden ears.

Iruka's eyes widen. What the hell?! Naruto's ga- Iruka shakes his head vigorously, unconsciously shaking Naruto in the process. No, technically Naruto couldn't be gay, he's a 'she' too, Iruka gulps. Okay, this is just too much to comprehend…

"S-Stop-p s-shak-king m-me!" Naruto stammers.

"Oh, sorry about that!" the brunet teacher quickly lets Naruto go.

**000**

The tension air that was present just now is gone. It's still tense but not as chokingly heavy as before. Whatever issues Naruto and Iruka had has been settled it seems. Not that the three medical professional didn't try, they did, but the thick oak door conceals privacy just as it should, much to Tsunade's annoyance. All they heard is faint muffle, which doesn't help much to their inquisitive ears.

"They are a few things to be discussed," Tsunade tries again, clearing her throat yet again.

"Such as?" Iruka challenges her.

Tsunade almost flinches. Iruka sure has the talent in making she feels like 6 years old again, intimidated by a fierce teacher. She's a respected psychiatrist now, damn it! She refuses to be intimidated by this soft, doe-eyed teacher!

The busty blonde squares her shoulder. "We are hoping you will not sue us for what has happened to Naruto. As he said, he was a willing partner in the… activity he engaged with Sasuke last night."

"But he's a patient of yours, right? Surely it's this hospital's responsibility and it's unfair to lay the blame on a minor," Iruka says crisply. Oh yes, he's a teacher but that doesn't mean he's dumber than someone who spent longer time in university.

"If someone's to blame, it's Kakashi," Tsunade suddenly says. Kakashi's eyes widen at this, that traitor! He knows she's going to grab the first chance to blame him! All eyes turn to Kakashi, expecting him to say something.

Kakashi fidgets uncomfortably, though he's trying not to make it obvious. "Uh… Sasuke's a minor too?" he offers.

Iruka scowls. "You send your charge into a mental ward?!" What kind of a guardian is that?!

"Sasuke's not entirely well-"

"Sasuke's a patient here?" Naruto's sudden question stills the air. The adults around him don't know whether it's appropriate to laugh during this tense time. Is Naruto trying to make a sick joke?

"Of course he's a patient, Naruto," Iruka says impatiently. "Otherwise he wouldn't have a room in that ward, would he? And here I thought it was some perverted adult who raped my son!" Iruka barks at Kakashi.

"I told you he didn't rape me, Iruka!" Naruto says stubbornly, his voice matching Iruka's in pitch and tone. "Sasuke looks normal, I didn't think he… that he's… a patient…" Naruto slumps in his chair. Has he gotten Sasuke in trouble? Is Sasuke sane enough to accept him as he is?

"It doesn't matter now, does it?" Iruka says exasperatedly. He then turns to Jiraiya, eyes ominously piercing the professor with venom that could kill. "I ought to castrate you for this. If it isn't for you persuading us to come here-"

"Please, Umino-san, this is not the time to argue. We have to discuss this civilly," Tsunade cuts in.

"There's nothing to discuss. I'm going to sue this hospital," Iruka says firmly.

"On what ground? Naruto said it himself, he was a willing partner," Tsunade pleads.

"On the ground of negligence, that's what I'm going to sue you on. You should have locked that kid somewhere for endangering other people," Iruka says hotly. Naruto looks at his father helplessly. Iruka's being all stubborn and over-protective over him again.

Great, Tsunade's minds screams, and they haven't tell Iruka yet about the possibility of Naruto's getting pregnant. At this rate, it will make a headline in the newspaper and not only their names are at stakes, but the whole hospital!

"Sasuke's conditions don't indicate that he has to be sent to locked wards," Tsunade says firmly.

"Conditions?" Iruka's eyes narrow. "You mean he's here for more than one sickness?" That seems to interest Naruto as well. He looks at Sasuke's psychiatric expectantly, heart thumping so loud in his ears. What if Sasuke shows interest only because of his… condition? What if Sasuke doesn't really want to be his friend? Naruto quells any thought that would part him away from his new-found friend. He refuses to believe the worse of his vampire-san. The boy doesn't look at him with disgusted eyes, so why should Naruto judge Sasuke now?

"We'll expend on that soon. There's a more pressing matter that I need to discuss first but I will only discuss it if you promise to have a civilised conversation and keep your temper in check, Umino-san," Tsunade glances at Jiraiya, sending look that says it will be his cue to explain about Naruto. Jiraiya nods meekly.

"What you think you have the authority to demand that of me? Especially when it involves my son's safety?" Naruto is about to protest but Iruka sends him a look that clearly doesn't permit Naruto to speak. The blond boy shuts his mouth, lips curl down, pouting like a frustrated child.

"As a matter of fact, I think I do, _especially_ since it involves Naruto's safety," Tsunade changes her tactics. She refuses to be intimidated like a guilty child anymore. She learns psychology too and dealing with Iruka proves to be harder than dealing with her worst patients.

Iruka pales at this; Naruto's ears perk up in interest. His safety? He is safe now, isn't he? What's the problem now?

"Jiraiya-sensei," Tsunade nods at the professor. "If you may explain it to Iruka…?"

"Ehm… right…" Jiraiya stands up, walking next to Tsunade's table and leans on it, propping one leg out to make it look casual. "We you're aware, Iruka-san… Naruto has both male and female reproductive system," he lets Iruka takes in the information first before continuing. Naruto's adopted father nods, something that he has willingly accepts.

"I need to do a thorough examination on Naruto as soon as possible, if he permits me that is," he looks at Naruto but the blond looks at him back with a blank expression. Jiraiya sighs, of all the times to look innocent, why must it be now?

"There's a… likely chance that Naruto… well, after last night, though it's very slim seeing at it from scientific point of view, and we also have to consider other factors such as-"

"Jiraiya!" Tsunade cuts Jiraiya's rambles in a sharp tone. The man is delaying to break the news.

"Oh, right… I'm sorry about that…" Jiraiya changes his position, standing straight as to give himself some self confidence. "My point is, there's a small chance that Naruto might be pregnant," and Jiraiya readies himself from the high-pitch shrieks.

He is wise to do so.

"WHAT?!" Even Naruto has a horrified look on his face.

"B-But that c-can't be! I've never even bleed before!" he has never felt cursed to be born with two genders until now.

"Jiraiya…." Iruka's voice is so low and cold that the room's temperature drops drastically. "I'm going to castrate you for real if that happens!" he shouts angrily, his face is red with anger, worry and disbelief. Even Naruto shrinks in his seat, the tanned colour now a shade lighter.

"Umino-san, please calm down-"

"That's just another reason to sue you, isn't it?" Iruka scowls. "I'm taking Naruto home-"

"Iruka, we discussed this-" Naruto seems to gain courage to speak.

"Clearly Konoha is not an ideal place to live now, isn't it?"

"But Ero-sensei said there's a chance. It's not confirmed yet, isn't it?"

"And you want to wait till it really _happens_?" Iruka's sarcastic question shuts Naruto's mouth.

Naruto looks down, bangs covering his bright blue eyes. "That's not what I mean…" he mumbles yet it was clear to the other adults.

"Umino-san, we will do thorough check-ups on Naruto, we'll take full responsibility. If it's confirmed that Naruto is not pregnant, I can say Jiraiya will drop Naruto off his research but he if he does, we won't charge you even a cent for whatever is necessary for Naruto," Tsunade quickly says. "This is what we need to discuss," she adds.

"Naruto, if you would be kind to wait outside my office. Here's a book, read it while we discuss this matter with your father," Tsunade fetches a random book, gives it to Naruto and signals for Kakashi to usher Naruto outside. "Don't go anyway, just sit still on the couch there, okay?" Tsunade says authoritatively. Naruto nods solemnly, not knowing what else to say or do.

"I know you're angry, Umino-san, and worried to. But we hope to settle this out of the court. Besides, we need Naruto to stay," Tsunade speaks as Kakashi closes the door.

"And you think I'm going to let him stay after all these?" Iruka asks incredulously.

"We're offering you full responsibility if his pregnancy is positive. Besides, that's not the only reason why we want Naruto to stay," Tsunade adds quickly without leaving room for Iruka to argue.

"What do you mean?" Iruka's angry expression softens a bit, lacing with worry. Is there anything else that he doesn't know?

"Sasuke has been a patient here for… 9 years," a deep voice is heard from Iruka's right side. It makes him turn to see the masked psychologist speaking. Iruka's surprise expression is evident on his face at Kakashi's statement.

"Is he that… sick?" automatically empathy fills him in. What had happened that force such a young boy to be admitted into a psychiatric ward? It must have been very traumatic.

"Sasuke was admitted due to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Over the years we realized that that was not the only disorder that he has; Sasuke also suffers from Schizoid Personality Disorder which makes him detached from everyone else," Kakashi pauses to let Iruka understand.

"Is it something like Schizophrenia?" Iruka asks curiously, traces of anger are gone, replaces by concern for this young patient named Sasuke.

"Not quite," Tsunade chips in, amused with the change of Iruka's tone. "He doesn't hallucination or anything like that. It's mostly his detachment from his surrounding and his withdrawal from the world. Sasuke preferred to be alone, he didn't let anyone touch or talk to him and he never has shown any emotion."

"Did Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder lead him to this… personality disorder that he has?" Iruka asks again.

"It might have, though scientific researches showed no connection between the two. Anyway, over the years his Schizoid Personality Disorder criteria lessen. When we first diagnosed him with it, Sasuke possessed all 7 criteria," Tsunade continues.

"A few years ago he started to open up to me, Tsunade and some other people. But even then, his interaction was very limited. A couple of years ago, Sasuke started to show interest in books and apart from that, there are not much significant changes," Kakashi says, looking at Iruka seriously.

"Because of Sasuke's special conditions and since he doesn't spend much time outside his room, we provided him with everything he needs. It's actually more like Kakashi who provides him with these since Sasuke's under his responsibility anyway. The point is, Sasuke has never shown any interest in human interaction until… until Naruto showed up yesterday…" Tsunade explains.

Iruka seems to be lost in thoughts. And then he looks sharply at Tsunade. "Are you suggesting Naruto to be another research experiment for this patient of yours, Tsunade-sensei?" Even though his tone is calm, Tsunade could see the defiant storm in Iruka's brown eyes.

"I just want to see what is it about Naruto that makes Sasuke changed. He might even be good for Sasuke, he could provide Sasuke with interpersonal therapy and help Sasuke to be treated," Tsunade tries to make Iruka understand.

"But surely, after 9 years in hospital, Sasuke's disorders are worse than I imagine and how can you expect a mere 17 years-old teen to treat him when you can't?" Iruka's tone holds sarcastic remarks and it makes Tsunade thinks he should be a lawyer rather than a teacher!

"That's what Kakashi and I try to understand here and I believe Naruto could provide us with an answer."

"But you said Sasuke has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, surely it can endanger Naruto as well?"

"His PTSD has been dormant for quite a number of years. There are triggers that could make him burst in outrage so as long as we avoid those triggers, it's safe," Tsunade reassures him.

"What kind of triggers?" Iruka is concerned, very concern for his son, especially after what happened. For him, though Sasuke's a poor, poor boy, Naruto's safety comes first.

"Mostly about his past, the cause of his PTSD. As long as we don't mention or ask anything about it, or anything regarding his family, he's quite safe. Kakashi and I will work very closely with Jiraiya-sensei to observe both Naruto and Sasuke. We believe Naruto could help Sasuke."

"If I'm going to put Naruto's safety on the line here, I think I have the rights to know what the causes of Sasuke's PTSD are then," Iruka says after a moment of thinking.

"It's classified information but we could make an exception since Sasuke is under Kakashi's guardianship and Naruto is still under your responsibility. But in order for us to disclose confidential information like that, I'd also like your agreement and consent that Naruto is allowed to visit Sasuke here," Tsunade takes out a couple of printouts and places them on the desk. She, Kakashi and Jiraiya drafts the consent form while waiting for Iruka to come.

Iruka raises an eyebrow. "You've been planning this?"

"It's just to make everything clears between us. Whatever I've said to you is in this form, including the risks of Naruto's pregnancy and our responsibility. You can take your time in reading it. If you don't agree to this, I'll let you make a decision to back out from Jiraiya's research. We will send you back."

It takes Iruka 15 minutes to decide. He finally agrees because he knows if Naruto is to make a decision, he would definitely agree to it.

* * *

**TBC**


End file.
